Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"Stupid Game in the Idiot Box"

In an exclusive coverage of the shooting of ‘Stupid Game in the Idiot Box’, Clearway goes behind the scenes to present to you, the conversation between the two lead players in the show.


Ind: Listen gentlemen! The objective is very clear.
Pak: Objective?
Ind: Mission!
Pak: Oh! So, what’s the plan?
Ind: You tell us!
Pak: Match 1 is 600 +
Ind: That’s too high!
Pak: You go for 650.
Ind: Is it possible?
Pak: Yes of course! We will make all arrangements.
Ind: Okay.
Pak: As for Part 2 . . . .
Ind: There is no Part 2 in Match 1!
Pak: Why?
Ind: Where’s the time friend? Part 1 will go on for 5 days!
Pak: Okay. What about Match 2?
Ind: Ditto Match 1. ‘No Result’ is the only objective.
Pak: Okay, but we will decide our individual scores.
Ind: Yeah. We will do ours.
Pak: But Match 3 has to be different.
Ind: Yes. But, what do you think? Do we need results?
Pak: Actually, results are not necessary at all.
Ind: Hmm, yeah. This is the time we can try new records.
Pak: Yes. People want only new records, always. Who cares about Quality?
Ind: And rulers want no troubles anyway.
Pak: But how to make Part 3 different?
Ind: We have an idea. We will do some ‘Trick’ in Part 3!
Pak: A ‘Trick’? That’s a good idea. But we want to do it.
Ind: No, this time, we will do it. You do it when you come to our place.
Pak: That’s not a bad idea.
Ind: Importantly, we want to do the trick as soon as we begin Part 1.
Pak: Okay, done.
Ind: And Part 1 must be really short in Match 3.
Pak: We will try to close at 250
Ind: Cool. We will end at 240.
Pak: Okay. But Part 2 has to be big. We will aim for 800 +?
Ind: 800? That’s too high. Then, when will we act?
Pak: You act on Day 5. We will give you the last one hour, or perhaps 2 hours.
Ind: Just 2 hours?
Pak: Yes, of course. We want to make our crowds happy.
Ind: Okay. What will be our strategy in the last two hours?
Pak: That, we can discuss over a cup of Tea in Day 5 and decide then.
Ind: Cheers Dude.

Glossary:

‘Match’ means ‘Drama’
‘Trick’ is a trick to turn the crowd on.
‘Records’ means recording the Match.
‘Rulers’ means ‘Jokers’
‘Crowds’ means ‘Idiots’
‘Part 1’ = ‘First Half’
‘Part 2’ = ‘Second Half’
‘600, 650, 800 etc are NOT ‘Millions’
‘Act’ means ‘Act’
‘Cheers’ means ‘Fixing’ things up.
‘Dude’ is self-explanatory.

Producers of the Show: Joint Venture between ‘Pakinson Criminal Board’ (PCB) and ‘Board of Confusion and Catastrophe in India’ (BCCI)

Last Date for Bidding (of shares): 31 Jan 2006
Post Script.
'Pak' means Pakinson, the founder of the board.
'Ind' means an abbreviation used for BCCI, for the sake of convenience.

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