Mr Q and a Thousand Dogs

Clearway gets Mr Q on-line and catches up with what he’s been up to these days.

CW: Would you please identify yourself?
Q: This is Q.

CW: Thanks for coming on-line Mr Q.
Q: Shoot.

CW: No, we are not here to shoot you Mr Q!
Q: Hmm. I mean, shoot the Questions.

CW: Where are you now?
Q: Argentina.

CW: Why have you been dodging the Indian authorities all these years?
Q: I was dodging them. I am not dodging them now.

CW: So, are you willing to surrender?
Q: Of course.

CW: Then why are you not doing that?
Q: Your Government has no treaty with Argentina.

CW: But that’s only for extradition. Why don’t you surrender?
Q: Because if I do, there isn’t any guarantee for my life.

CW: Do you mean you are perceived as a threat to Indian big shots?
Q: No comments.

CW: Why is your extradition taking so much time?
Q: Because the reports need to be translated.

CW: But the Indian Ambassador to Argentina said the reports were already translated when they were sent to India.
Q: I’m talking of the reports that your Investigation Bureau sent in Hindi to Argentina.

CW: What do you think of our CBI?
Q: They have been looking for me since the times of Rajiv.

CW: What do you have to say about BOFORS?
Q: I hear the CBI officers are well paid. Let them do some work.

CW: How is your relationship with the ruling dynasty?
Q: Extremely pleasant and amicable.

CW: Mr Fernandez says Mr Vajpayee had instructed against acting on your file.
Q: Fernandez is one of your country’s acute and chronic problems.

CW: Are you aware that Q is the most popular English letter in India these days?
Q: I thank the media for all the publicity.

CW: Why do you think the BOFORS case is so important?
Q: The importance of any case depends on the number of heads that could roll with it.

CW: If you were an Indian, what would you have been?
Q: A politician. I could have earned much more and need not have gone underground.

CW: Why are there so many scams and scandals?
Q: Scams and Scandals are like Item Numbers in Bollywood movies. They spice up life. The media sells by publishing them, the public enjoys reading about them, the government stays on power blaming each other, and we live our lives swindling. They are a blessing for everyone.

CW: What do you think of India?
Q: It’s a good place to do business in.

CW: So, if invited, would you start a business in India?
Q: Well, I already have some invitations. I’m just waiting for some fresh passports.

CW: We heard you had an aversion towards dogs?
Q: Yes. They need to be killed at a rate of a thousand a day.

CW: But where do you think they could be killed in such large numbers?
Q: While I was in India, I had visited the Parliament and a few Legislative Assemblies. They are spacious halls with a good capacity.

CW: And then?
Q: Hold fresh elections.

CW: What’s your message to the Indian government?
Q: If you keep searching for me for some more time, I would die of old age.