News Makers - and their Secret Aspirations

Our News Makers session today features four prominent personalities - those who have contributed significantly to their own fields of action.

The first place naturally goes to President George Wicked Bush. He has created a storm in the news papers today, by commenting on the weather in India. Mr Bush has called it 'Beautiful' - yes, Mr Brush does seem to have tried to paint a beautiful picture of the Nation, who is apparently excited at his first visit to this land. But the reasons for the excitement in the media circle are not all that obvious. They should have known, by now, that the Indian weather was beautiful indeed, rather than waiting for a crusader to announce it to them.

News maker 2 is our Crime Minister, Mr Singh. He has been brave enough to break protocol and welcome W. Bush right at the foot steps of Air Force 1. In fact, rumours have it that Mr Singh climbed up the ladder even as the doors of the plane were opening. Mrs Laura Bush seems to have bumped straight into Mr Singh as she stepped out of the plane. Fortunately for Mr Singh, Mrs Kaur seems to have a lot of trust on him. What happens in the White House when Mr Bush returns to the US, however, remains to be seen.

We take a break from Political Big Wigs and deviate on to the field, for our Fuse Breaker 3 position - yes, it goes to Ian Chappell. We all know that he has a rather big mouth; this day, he told the world that he is having difficulty in shutting it up. Chappell has admitted that he worked as the Personal Secretary of 'Dada' Ganguly, apart from being the roach of the Indian Cricket Team. In his tenure as Ganguly's Secretary, Chappell seems to have pried into the Accounts of 'Dada' and seems to have noted down some figures. Now that Ganguly needs no more of his service, Chappell seems to have thought it fit to reveal the Bank Account Details of his former Master. The Board of Confusion and Controversy in India has taken note of this rather indecent behaviour and has decided to send a Masking Tape, a Zip or a Lock to shut Chappell's big mouth.

Finally, we return to Politics in search of our King Joker 4 and land up right on the streets with Former Crime Minister, Mr Deve Gowda. Being rather surprised at having spotted Mr Gowda in the streets along with college students who were on a strike because their hostel taps weren't functioning properly, we checked with the former Chief as to the purpose of his stance. It was then that he realised that he was among the wrong mob - he originally wanted to be part of the Anti-Bush rally when he started from his residence. However, on the way, he seems to have noticed a gang with the card - "CLEAR THE BUSHES", which was originally intended to protest the lack of maintenance of the Hostel gardens! Mr Gowda, by mistake, thought it was a protest against our News Maker 1 and promptly stood in the line.

News Update:

It is learnt that each of the four News Makers have secret aspirations for one anothers' posts. Details are as follows:

1. Mr Bush seems interested in Chappell's position as the Coach of the Indian Team; it is a rather good prospect for Indian cricket as, then, he may announce a crusade against every other Cricketing Nation and infuse the Indian team with "Killer" Instinct.

2. Mr Deve Gowda aspires for a room in the White House; that is good for India as well, as Mr Gowda would certainly destory the US economy and being it down to its heels. Chances of India becoming a Developed Nation increase as well!

3. Mr Singh wants to participate actively in Karnataka Politics. Well, that is definitelty good for Bangalore. Now that we know how Mr Singh has an unexplained affinity towards climbing up the stairs of Air Planes, we can definitely look forward towards many more International Air Terminals being opened at Bangalore at extremely short notices.

4. Mr Chappell says he would become the Coach of the Indian Parliament! Yes, he would, by all means, bring about some discipline in the House; he may also reveal the Bank details and the financial statuses of Ministers, competing vigorously with the private Television Channels. However, the Election Commission must exercise extreme caution - Mr Chappel may effect a Coup against the existing Prime Minister, throw him to Kolkota and being someone from Bangalore to head the Nation!

PS. It is a mere coincidence that each of the four News Makers would be better off in positions other than their own!

Spotlight on Clearway

I have been receiving lots of mails requesting me to elaborate on what Clearway is! The central theme of all of those correspondences is that my 'Definition' of Clearway is not all that crisp or comprehensible; nor is that clear and concise. So, I decided to keep posting some 'Facts' about Clearway once in a while, on the go, in an effort to clear the haze around Clearway.

Clearway is a beast with a mind of its own. It is an organism, a whole new species, raw and totally lacking in sophistication. It acts and it reacts to its own acts! However, as of this day, I don't remember it's ever having retracted its steps. It watches and responds to movements in space. However, sometimes, I have seen it transcending the boundaries of space! It has the least regard for elements and notices the ticking of the clock nonchalantly.

That was one face of Clearway - let me see if I can clarify a few more facts in the posts to come. And I do stress that I can not be held responsible for what Clearway logs in this space. Clearway - and only Clearway - is accountable for whatever is stated in Clearway!

Into your minds; not 'In your Face': Advertising

I was thinking of commenting briefly on a few things that have been happening in and around India when something else caught my attention - Internet Advertising.

What do Advertisers aim at? Is it exposure? is it Brand Recall? Is it Brand Recognition? Or, is it a plain sense of detest that they try to evoke towards the brand that is advertised? I sincerely hope it is not the last in the list. But some advertisements definitely make me wonder if the purpose of an Advertisement is really to get the folks HATE the brand!

The moment one opens any of the home pages of popular sites these days, one encounters a blow in the face; not literally - fortunately! A flashy Ad, bright and gaudy, pops up right in the face of the reader in the prime space of the page! "Have you driven home the latest model of this car yet - along with the model who promotes it?" or, "Whom are you going to marry today?", or "Have break fast, lunch and dinner and spend two nights with your favourite stars" . . . you name it!

Never mind the messages. But imagine how you would feel when, while grossly immersed in your daily dose of News with a coffee in one hand on a Sunday morning, a huge advertisement pops up right between you and the news paper you read, with a jarring noice? Or, when you are chatting with your sweet heart on a silent evening, what if someone lands right in between you and your other half and starts yelling at you to buy his new launch? Okay, forget the Harry Potter stuff! You are completely involved in the gripping moments of the final couple of overs in a nail biting run chase between India and Pakistan; India needs 10 runs to score of the last couple of balls, with one wicket in hand! How would you enjoy an Ad at that precise point of time?

Advertise, yes. But let's show some restraint and some rationale. After all, a website exists only for readers to read - and no Advertisement is supposed to put the prospect off right at the offset!

Correction: The final word in the post was supposed to be 'Outset'. The mistake must perhaps have been due to an upgradation underway at Clearway.

Disclaimer: Since Upgradation is a continuous process, Clearway, by no means, assures an Error-Free post, though it very much remains the coveted goal of Clearway!

An initiative in the right direction - Tourism India

The decision to get the fares for foreign visitors to Places of Historical interests and other tourist attractions, in line with what the locals have to shell out, makes perfect sense. The decision was long pending and is a sure positive development in the right direction.

People who have had the opportunity to travel abroad have always seen the contrasting ways in which monuments were being treated in India and abroad. Tourist attractions are well maintained with systems well in place to welcome the tourist searching for a context. Historical events associated with the sites are well documented and tourism is amply promoted.

It doesn't take a developed nation to exercise its brains on what needs to be done to ge the tourists in and help them leave the country with a memorable experience. All it takes is some initiative. And a decision in this direction would be the most welcome step. One hopes it is followed up with setting up of other basic amenities that would make India a proud host.

Vampires Vs Business Schools

Management education is fit to find a place in the trash bags. No, not trash bags - they can be used as door mats. Well, if at all you deem them deserving a place in home at all, that is.

The reasoning behind this statement that reminds management thinkers of the rightful place of their first love is simple enough. Management theory talks about leadership; leadership talks of control, of decision making, of responsibilities, of Accountabilities! I don't mean to delve into the depths of any of these jargons. Just to get some facts straight, Strategic Planning is supposed to have been born in the US during the World Wars. The United States call themselves pioneers in having brought Management studies from the drawing boards of the War Zones to the public domain through their famed Business Schools. The United States is the most powerful bully on Planet Earth and it's President is supposed to author most of its bullying tactics. Put them all together, the President of the United States is supposed to be the individual that has the maximum quantum of Accountability in the globe!

Ectics in Business was brought into focus for the first time when huge empires crumbled to pieces, dragging along with them, dreams of millions and dollars in trillions, when Accounting fraud was the buzzword in the US. It took a while before investors mustered courage to invest in shares again. However, the skeletons in the Boardroom were very much brought to light by the ridiculous lust for money by men in dark suites. It was a hard lesson that Management Schools had to learn and they scurried to fix the holes in their syllabus when it came to Business Ethics.

Then was the turn of the war lords to come down heavily with all their might on the distant, remote prospects of a sovereign state being in a position to prepare and deploy Weapons of Mass Destruction. The President argued passionately, addressing an International delegation, reasoning how Iraq posed a grave threat to the entire humanity. Poor Blair had no option but to say "Yes President". UN Weapons Inspectors pleaded for time as they found nothing to substantiate the Western allegations. They were brushed aside as Iraq was pounded.

After the war was officially declared over, shocking images of obscenities were flashed across the world, from the prisons of Iraq. A few scape goats were brought to justice. The duo of Bush and Blair have gone on record, after Mr Saddam Hussain was shackled, that they made their decisions based on misleading Intelligence reports! The two still continue to occupy their chairs. And worse, they have set their sights on Iran now! To be able to murder thousands in cold blood and then go ahead with their next massacre plans must be a juicy proposition for vampires who are thirsty for blood!

So, the proud Business Schools of the United States of America might consider pondering over what went wrong with their theories of Accountability in leadership and getting back to their basics, so much so that they fall pathetically short of having any validity for practice when it came to the highest authority in their own Great Nation. Whether it's about a sole proprietorship business with a turnover of a couple of thousand dollars or the arena of International Politics with Strategies that touch the lives of billions, Management theory must hold the key to explain leadership and it's effect on subjects. To explain away the fees in thousands as being charged for a study that operates in vacuum and to continue pitching for prospects for courses in Executive Education is a farce, when the most powerful leaders prove leadership theories, the worst mistakes of management.

"Stupid Game in the Idiot Box"

In an exclusive coverage of the shooting of ‘Stupid Game in the Idiot Box’, Clearway goes behind the scenes to present to you, the conversation between the two lead players in the show.


Ind: Listen gentlemen! The objective is very clear.
Pak: Objective?
Ind: Mission!
Pak: Oh! So, what’s the plan?
Ind: You tell us!
Pak: Match 1 is 600 +
Ind: That’s too high!
Pak: You go for 650.
Ind: Is it possible?
Pak: Yes of course! We will make all arrangements.
Ind: Okay.
Pak: As for Part 2 . . . .
Ind: There is no Part 2 in Match 1!
Pak: Why?
Ind: Where’s the time friend? Part 1 will go on for 5 days!
Pak: Okay. What about Match 2?
Ind: Ditto Match 1. ‘No Result’ is the only objective.
Pak: Okay, but we will decide our individual scores.
Ind: Yeah. We will do ours.
Pak: But Match 3 has to be different.
Ind: Yes. But, what do you think? Do we need results?
Pak: Actually, results are not necessary at all.
Ind: Hmm, yeah. This is the time we can try new records.
Pak: Yes. People want only new records, always. Who cares about Quality?
Ind: And rulers want no troubles anyway.
Pak: But how to make Part 3 different?
Ind: We have an idea. We will do some ‘Trick’ in Part 3!
Pak: A ‘Trick’? That’s a good idea. But we want to do it.
Ind: No, this time, we will do it. You do it when you come to our place.
Pak: That’s not a bad idea.
Ind: Importantly, we want to do the trick as soon as we begin Part 1.
Pak: Okay, done.
Ind: And Part 1 must be really short in Match 3.
Pak: We will try to close at 250
Ind: Cool. We will end at 240.
Pak: Okay. But Part 2 has to be big. We will aim for 800 +?
Ind: 800? That’s too high. Then, when will we act?
Pak: You act on Day 5. We will give you the last one hour, or perhaps 2 hours.
Ind: Just 2 hours?
Pak: Yes, of course. We want to make our crowds happy.
Ind: Okay. What will be our strategy in the last two hours?
Pak: That, we can discuss over a cup of Tea in Day 5 and decide then.
Ind: Cheers Dude.

Glossary:

‘Match’ means ‘Drama’
‘Trick’ is a trick to turn the crowd on.
‘Records’ means recording the Match.
‘Rulers’ means ‘Jokers’
‘Crowds’ means ‘Idiots’
‘Part 1’ = ‘First Half’
‘Part 2’ = ‘Second Half’
‘600, 650, 800 etc are NOT ‘Millions’
‘Act’ means ‘Act’
‘Cheers’ means ‘Fixing’ things up.
‘Dude’ is self-explanatory.

Producers of the Show: Joint Venture between ‘Pakinson Criminal Board’ (PCB) and ‘Board of Confusion and Catastrophe in India’ (BCCI)

Last Date for Bidding (of shares): 31 Jan 2006

Post Script.

'Pak' means Pakinson, the founder of the board.

'Ind' means an abbreviation used for BCCI, for the sake of convenience.

Irfan Pathan Defines "Swing and Awe"

The cherry swung like magic, bound by the spell cast by the wizard holding his invisible wand! A wizard, was he? He stood like a warrior, shattering the meek defences, watching the front line collapse in submission.

It's no mean trick! When one rocks three stars in their home ground, one after the other, piling them up to announce victory standing atop the fallen blades, it is nothing short of sheer mastery, the confidence over the self and the conscious control of the object that one wields! The red dart swung viciously at such a lethal pace that the memories of their fall are bound to haunt the victims for the next few face-offs that they would have with the Pathan! Such a splendid display of skill with results that would put the most scientific of scientists to shame is witnessed once in an individual's living memories! And that this amazing event occurred in what is seen as the decisive encounter in the series between one of the most notorious rivals of the planet is reason enough to celebrate Irafan for the rest of his life.

It was evident that it took a while for the feel of the historic feet to sink into the heart of the young Irfan Pathan. With the indulgence of being fortunate enough to witness a spectacular show of raw talent and its immaculate application, India looks forward towards a lot more records being torn apart by the vibrant speedster!

The Real 'Reality Show'

CNN-IBN discussed the stark realities of the Nation – and reality, by nature, is caustic. The scope of change that privatised media can bring about is amazing; and the Republic Day Special programme was just the tip of a dirty iceberg.

For eyes that are so much used to watching parades every year, shocking figures such as a double digit percentage of people interviewed not knowing what the name of their country is, would have been a blow to the senses. 7% view Republic Day celebrations as a mere waste of money! They were perhaps not asked how that money could have been put to better use. Some never knew why Jan 26th and Oct 2nd were being declared National Holidays every year; one of them was kind enough to remark that Oct 2nd was the “Birth Day of Mr. Gandhi”. Was he referring to his neighbour, by any chance?

An ailing Mr. Amitabh Bachhan received a special “Get Well” card signed by his fans, which was as voluminous as a News Paper. News Papers express deep regret in their front pages for KBC2 going off air. All that some of the popular websites would have in their Republic Day Specials are some patriotic tunes and picture messages for download. ‘Reality shows’ are the rage this day, with the youth pleading on camera for votes.

Media is a reflection; it caters to and expresses the priorities of the public. And ‘objects in the mirror are closer than they appear to be’! Are we listening?

Buta deserves his Birth Rights!

Buta Singh has caught the attention of the Supreme Court again. The last time, the SC said he had to be thrown out of his residence (How rude that is!). Now, he has been charged with fanciful assumptions. I am surprised. This is not what was expected of the Supreme Court!

Mr Singh must have been fast asleep when he was approached for his approval of the Government’s dismissal. And there is nothing wrong with dreaming while in sleep. What he really needs is some rest at home, and some freedom to dream. The court could be Supreme, but what rights does it have to interfere in the personal affairs of an innocent somnambulant? I only wish Mr Singh gets his birth rights of peaceful sleeps; and I hope the Supreme Court makes the necessary arrangements for his safe travel home. I request the Government not to disturb him tomorrow – it’s a National Holiday and don’t trouble him, making the old man stand out in the sun for the Republic Day Parade!

CLEARWAY IS HIRING!!!

Clearway – Misty Road®, a subsidiary of Clearway Inc®, is on a hiring spree! A phenomenally successful business unit with operations across the country, Clearway – Misty Road® has been in action since 1947, funnelling billions and trillions in Rupees of revenue out of the system into Clearway Finance®. Reasons for the success are in the marrow of Misty Road®, with our Patented Technologies of Chameleon Behaviour©, Corroded-to-the-Core© and Helluloid Representatives©.

Clearway – Misty Road® is hunting for hard-core, Pachyderm Homo sapiens who can mint money from dust and who have the determination and will power to make a complete ass of the system. If you have it in your genes, go ahead and apply to this ‘Gold Rush’!

Application Form

Name:
Original Name:
Other Names:
Number of Passports held:
Education (If any):
Criminal Records: __________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
(Continue in separate sheet)
Nationality:
Mother Tongue:
Religion:
Community:
Caste:
Sub-caste:
Under World Links: __________________________________
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Number of Kidnaps attempted:
Number of Kidnaps effected:
Success Rate (Effected/Attempted %):
Income:
Other Income:
Extra Income:
Extra-ordinary Income:
Rate:
Asking Rate:
Market Rate:
Other Records of Horse Trading:
Assets:
Assets targeted for this year:
Existing Vote Bank (state targeted community):
Booth Captures attempted:
Booth Captures effected:
Success Rate (Effected/Attempted %):
‘Resources’ at hand for future Booth Captures:
Comfort Level with Plain Shirt/ Dhoti’s (White only): Low/ Normal/ Abnormal
Comfort Level with Kurta Pyjamas (White only): Low/ Normal/ Abnormal
Number of hoardings featuring your names:
Number of hoardings featuring your photos:
Willingness to have a foreign bank account: No/ Yes/ I already have one at Swiss
Willingness to deal in white money: No/ Never
Under-the-table dealings: High/ Very High/ Always
Recorded instances of vandalism in the “House”: ________________________
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Recorded instances of vandalism in the streets: ________________________
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Ability to wield chairs/ microphones ad hoc, as may be necessary: Good/ Excellent/ Expert
The most important factor in your life: Money/ Power/ Staying alive for ever
Number of party switches this year:
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Number of party switches planned for next year:
Favourite Holiday Destination: Chennai/ Goa
Willingness to stay underground in emergency: Yes/ No/ It depends


Declaration: I have never been true in any of my declarations and I never will be true to the letter and spirit in this declaration as well.

Name:
Signature (Please use the current one):
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Name of Personal Secretary:
Signature of Personal Secretary:

Note: Personal secretaries of candidates who may not be in a position to read/ write may fill in the form on the candidate’s behalf; In that case, the Personal Secretary is required to sign the form on the candidate’s behalf while the candidate may imprint his left thumb impression.

Misty Road® encourages illiterates to apply – we are interested only in muscle power that can, as has already been declared, make a complete ass of the system.

Our Motto: **** the System!

A Tale of Two Tonnes

Alright, it’s cricket in the news again. With the torrent of runs in Pakistan, our boys have set out to redefine Test Cricket. Sehwag makes it to the front pages as Dravid walks back to the Dressing room, all smiles.

Strangely, the Asian heroes are left searching for the ball, wondering if it hit the bat and if it somehow did hit, trying to figure out where it landed, whenever they tour Australia! The contrast is due to one reason – there, matches are played on cricket pitches. And venues with cricket pitches are a bit different from the grounds where players play in the centre of the ground, on a rectangular patch of turf that stands out from the rest of the ground in that, the patch is shaved off the grass. So, you do get the difference between a Pitch and a Patch, don’t you?

When you bat on a patch, you are only supposed to make a tonne of it. It definitely is difficult to bring Asian roads to world standards; but then, it may not be all that tough to convert patches to pitches! And boys are only supposed to grow up into men – cricket is no child’s play, mind you!

THE CITY IS UNSAFE - and the Police will NOT act before it is Too Late!

Scene 1:

My cousin and I were having our coffees by around 9:45 PM when I saw the two kids approaching us. They saw me looking at them as they came laughing merrily – the girl quickly said something in the boy’s ear and their laughter vanished as they stood in front of us. It was a neutral expression in their faces as they made the gesture that they wanted some money.

I said: “I would not give any money. I can buy you food. Do you want food?” I waited to see their reaction. And their response was immediate.

“Yes sir. We will take the food”

It was getting late for my cousin. He wanted to go home even before I forced him to the coffee shop. So, I said I would handle the kids and I let him go. I walked with the kids to the restaurant just across the road. They said they were David and Manju.


Scene 2:

I ordered two plates of rice; the kids; David and Manju, wanted a ‘Take Away’. I placed the order and walked out of the restaurant to the platform with the kids. I wanted to know what their background was and initiated a chat with them. They were not going to schools; David was going to school but he discontinued. Manju was the last of 12 children and her dad had died in an accident. Her brothers had ceased worrying about her since their marriages.

I noticed that there were a few people who were having their supper on the side walk where we stood. It was a simple restaurant with no chairs but with circular tables, where people used to have foods, standing. There were groups of people who, I could see, were glancing at me as I walked past with the kids.

It was then, that the gang approached us.


Scene 3:

I was listening to David and Manju, who stood facing me. The men walked in between the kids and me. Just as they walked past, I saw a hand pull Manju along with the gang. I wasn’t prepared for this!

I looked up at the frail looking guy, fair, with traces of beard. He walked past as he pulled the girl.

I reached up to him. He turned back and looked straight into me.

I didn’t speak a word. I gestured to him that I would handle the kids and that he could mind his business. The guy smiled back at me as he loosened his grip on the girl.

Only then, I noticed the hunk who was walking in front of the frail guy. He was dark, held a live cigarette carelessly in his lips and was definitely drunk. And, he was pulling the boy, forcibly. The kid was helplessly trying to resist his force as he dragged him on. I could sense real trouble.

I walked up to the drunkard. I asked him to leave the kid.

He left David. Now, it was his turn to look at me. And then, to step towards me; and then, to lecture at me! (I was getting ready for something else!)

“It’s your mistake. You people are creating problems” he declared.

The kids were near me by now. I was trying to take them into the restaurant - the situation was bad outside.

I was moving into the restaurant as he yelled at me: “You people are spoiling them. What are they doing here at this time? You must not give them any money, not even a single paisa! If you want, give them food!” His voice was strong, loud and smelled of alcohol.

“Give food? That’s what I’m doing now. I’m buying them food. And, I didn’t ask for your advice. If someone does, go and lecture them” I shot back.

I knew it was idiotic to talk to a drunkard; it was dangerous to respond to one who moves in a gang! Still, I said what I did and moved into the restaurant with the kids. I thought it would be safe in the restaurant and the gang would move away. I was plain wrong!


Scene 4:

The food was not yet ready at the counter. I asked the kids to stay inside. Just then, I sensed the commotion behind me. I looked back to see the hunk walking into the restaurant. I noticed some of his gang was inside too! I knew the situation was getting serious. I could sense the kids getting terrified.

“Don’t give any food to them” he announced. Everyone in there, easily around 20 to 30 people, was noticing what was happening. It was now the turn of the employees in the self-service restaurant to be taken aback. The guy kept moving towards the counter at a steady pace, as he cautioned the waiters not to serve the kids. I was very much concerned about the safety of the kids. I had brought them there and I had put them in danger!

“Go away. Go now.” He threatened the kids, as he stood at the only passage that led to the exit. The passage was dotted with men from the gang. I looked at the kids and they were shocked; both Manju and David were crying loud! I had to act, quickly!

“Go away. Just go out of the restaurant.” I ordered the kids.

David didn’t know what to do. He was hungry and was horrified. He said something to me that didn’t get registered in my mind - I just had to get the kids out of there, immediately. I thought he said he wanted food.

“Go to the place where you saw me. Run there and wait for me. I will bring the food. Just go from here. Go!” I ordered so strongly that the kids fled past the hunk and the thugs. They were out of danger. I was not sure if I was! I faced the guy.

Strangely enough, the guy was in a mood for lectures. He repeated what he had already said. “You people are spoiling them. Never give them anything!”

I saw the solution to the problem. I readily agreed with what he said. I nodded and said “Yes. That’s right!” I gestured towards him to move on.

He seemed satisfied with himself. He walked out as his lieutenants followed him. I was surprised to find a lot of people, who were having their food outside, recognise the man. He was talking with them in his booming voice.

I returned to the counter. The rice was not ready yet. I ordered for “roti’s” for the amount that I had paid, in place of rice. They were packed as I looked outside for any trace of trouble that remained. The gang was now dispersing. They walked out of sight. I got the packet and walked up to the coffee shop where the kids found me. There were a few other kids now, some much elderly than David and Manju. The two of them saw me coming with the pack and they ran up towards me. I gave them the packs and warned them never to venture out when it’s dark, again! One of the girls in the group agreed; Manju and David nodded and said they would not come out when it’s dark.


Scene 5:

Just a few yards from the scene of action, a police patrol vehicle was stationed, with three men in uniforms – one of them at the driver’s seat. I approached them and briefed them of what was happening a few minutes ago, how it could potentially have got really messy, how the kids were at danger in the area and how a few drunken rascals ruled the world when it was dark.

They promised to take action.


Questions:

What do the police do about kids that keep roaming the streets at night?
What do the police do about rowdies who patrol the streets, right in the middle of residential areas, at night?
If it is a patrol vehicle, why is it stationed, instead of being on the move?
How well equipped are the patrolling police personnel, to deal with emergency situations?
Even if the patrol vehicle is to be stationed, why is it conveniently parked in the calm area of the place, rather than where the crowd is, near the restaurant and the bar right next to it?
Why are bars being allowed in residential areas, rather than being relegated to the outskirts of the city limits?

Because, they don't reside at IISc!

Words become redundant to describe what bullets can do, when mere words sent electronically can throw normalcy off course! New rules are set and Internet Café’s are on the watch list. Browsing Centres in the Southern State require customers to register their names, addresses and telephone numbers, as a result of the Parliament bomb threat mail. E-Mails are bound to be actively monitored and combed through for words that may be as mundane as a combination of the letters ‘R’, ‘D’ and ‘X’. I do wonder if 'Red OXide' would set the panic button on! Or, imagine the case where an e-mail discusses if the floorings of the ‘Parliament’ are coated in ‘Red OXide’! Hmmm, tough job for those in the business of decrypting!

As one would expect, speculation is rife if IISc would be repeated! Not a particularly good mood to begin the New Year, I would have thought! But that’s the way the cookie crumbles! It should be of no surprise if every institute that starts with ‘Indian’ is put on red alert, with special care taken towards those that have ‘Science’ on their names.

For one thing, if I hailed from Tirunelveli, I wouldn’t go to the net café that is comfortably situated right next to my house, send a bomb threat to the Parliament filled with the most important lives in the Nation and get back home, waiting for the police force to arrive knocking at my doors. I would definitely have bought a ticket to Vadodara, then would have come down to Hyderabad, sent the mail to the Assembly there, then would have headed to Gaya, before heading to Agra and finally settling down at Bhopal. If that goes for something as harmless as an e-mail, would the terrorists who had all the sophistications to bring loads of ammunition into the IISc to commit the dastardly act be stupid enough to target another Institute, say, IIM?

It is a lot easier to guess what the second target could be and put up a show of utmost sincerity in nabbing the culprits, than it is to eavesdrop on what they plan to do before they do it! It’s not just the pain of blood – it’s the awe of ‘First Blood’ that goes into their decisions of targets. Our police forces are too intelligent to be setting up shops in front of every Institute, waiting for the criminal to walk up to them to shake hands with them!

The New Year

Here we are, right at the door steps of 2006, knocking in zealous anticipation of what is in store! I feel hard pressed to end the year on a positive note at Clearway – it’s hardly been a couple of months or so since Clearway sprung up lazily in one corner of the vast expanse of cyberspace, evoking a lackadaisical response from some of the hordes of Netizens who are used to hard-core blogging– “Which Way? Clear What?” Getting back on track – of ending the year on a positive note!

So, this New Year, I define Clearway - if I haven’t done so yet! Clearway is the bus with seats that have no back rests, with windows that have no shutters. Clearway is the Machine gun that slays the scientist. Clearway is the currency that goes into their pockets, the questions they forget to ask; Clearway is the bill book that is never written, the taxes never paid. Clearway is the prison wall that is flattened, the border that is infiltrated, the Quarters that is overstayed in. Clearway is the society that muffles voices, the media that hypes up faces; the cricket that turns into politics, the politics that goes for a toss. Clearway is the blog that criticises persons, the person that reprimands the blog. Clearway is the pervert, the patriot and the perfectionist. Clearway is the rain, the flood and the famine. Clearway is fear, terror and the assassin. Clearway is the activity, the action, the activist. Clearway is India, Revolution and beyond!

I was never good enough to predict New Years; but Clearway thrives on element, energy and the ego! Wishing everyone, a Great Year ahead!

The Key is in the Mind!

“Very few of us imbibe Mahatma Gandhi's words: 'We must become the change we want to see in the world.’ Very few of us want to do more than criticise the state of affairs around us. Very few of us take up the initiative to change things. One Chennai neighbourhood is a glowing exception. Their little miracle holds the promise that if more of us think and do like they do, big changes are easy.”

I had read through these lines in the story before the thought struck me – ‘This is yet another Positive story! So, is it Shobha Warrier again?’ I looked up at the by-line and . . . Yes, it was her! This “Shobha Warrier – Rediff” combination has unleashed yet another account that tells us what ‘can’ be achieved, rather than lamenting on what is ‘not’ being done!

The story is good on more than one count; it’s about the way a bunch of lads decided to tackle a perennial problem – water! It’s about focus, commitment, and concerted effort. The way the SYMA people have decided to zero-in on one issue and the medium they chose for delivery of their message is worth mentioning. And it is, after all, about ‘being the change that one wants to see’!

"The moment we are back from office, we dedicate ourselves to social work. Similarly, mornings are also dedicated to community work." This comment by Mr Ramani, the SYMA President, makes it sound all too simple. The purpose that drive them towards their ‘way of life’ and the energy levels needed to sustain their actions over time are just what could mean the difference between our present and our future!

"Expelbalm" - the Only solution for Chronic "Headaches"

Happy News! The Speaker of our Lok Sabha has fewer heads for aches now – the trouble-mongers have been packed off to a safe destination! And the Rajya Sabha is leaner by a digit as well. The media claims this an ‘unprecedented’ move! And Cobra Post is still alive, as of this minute. All this does augur well for our democracy!

However, our representatives are not unanimous about the issue. There have been protests against the way the members have been thrown out and the BJP has staged a ‘Walk-Out’. Mr L. K. Advani seems to have taken umbrage at this “Harsh” act! I fail to see much reason in his stand, however!

These folks have just earned a handsome amount and must no doubt be in a jubilant mood at having had their faces in the media. It would be "harsh" on them, only if we refuse to let them go on a holiday, touring around, spending their ‘hard earned’ money. And this is Christmas Eve and they have every right to make the most of a New Year bash! So, don’t spoil their moods through ‘Harsh’ protests. But, if you do want to express yourselves, please feel free to walk out of the House. It would definitely help the Speaker and give him a break, this festive season!

This Day, That Age: Meerut

CLEARWAY EXCLUSIVE: HISTORY UNEARTHED - A DIRECTOR'S DIARY!

“So, you want to force yourselves on to the spotlight, huh? Welcome, gentlemen, I mean, gentlewomen, please occupy centre stage.”

They blink, and stare at me.

I ask the Chief, “Why do they stare that way?”

“Use simple English man!”

I clear my throat.

“I mean, you want to see yourself in the media, is it not?”

They look confused.

“Okay, you want to be in photo, in TV?”

They beam. I sigh of relief.

“Good. Could you move a bit on to the right . . . No, no, not to my right, your right . . . yeah, that’s right.”

“Okay, this is an action scene. But, this is not the usual scene where you come after the fight is over. You come and start the fight here. Okay?”

They nod, suggesting they might have understood something.

“The name of this programme is “Uniformed Thugs” . . . I mean, “Uninformed Thugs” . . . or, “Lady Thugs”, or, “Rowdy Lady” – it’s your choice”

The Chief is not satisfied. I search for some action-packed code name and come up with a brilliant “Operation Laila”.

The Chief is delighted!

“Operation Laila!” The Chief repeats proudly.

By now, one of the lady thugs is about to doze off. Her buddy wakes her up.

“Oh, no, you can not sleep today. Yeah . . . I know it’s difficult. But, don’t you want to be in the media, I mean, in photo, in TV, in Paper tomorrow?”

They agree! They try to keep their eyes wide open . . . they try hard.

“Good. So, today, you can not sleep. You have to slap women.”

The intelligent Thief, oops, Chief, asks “Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’? You are not P*****men, you are P*****women! You can only slap women. You can’t do anything else to them, I guess!”

(My Editor censored some obscene words that were recorded; can’t help it)

I question the Chief: “Further, how else can you make news? Taking bribe is old fashioned. If this is a male team, may be we can try a grape scene. But, you want to make this woman squad popular. I think this is the best way.”

The Chief agrees half-heartedly. “Whatever, just make us popular. All the time, the men are in news. We want to prove we are equal to them.”

I sigh, and continue with my direction.

“So, we will have the cameras ready. When I say “Action”, you must go and slap the first woman you see in the Park. When you see the second woman, you must pull her hair, and if you see a couple, I mean, a man and woman together, beat both of them. If you see a lady in saree, pull it off. Then, you drag them out of the park and shove them in front of the cameras. When I say “Cut”, you stop. Is it clear?”

The team looks dumb, with an odd expression. The Chief seems bored.

I decide to break the instructions into parts and I repeat them, sentence by sentence. I point out to and mark people in the park and give roles to each uninformed woman, allotting victims in pairs to the stouter ladies in the crew. I make sure that every Rowdy Lady is allocated with a victim or two.

I get back to my place; make sure that cameras are in position, and then, “Action”!

It being late afternoon, normally sleeping hours for them, they amble lethargically into the park. The ladies walk up to their designated victims and start acting out their roles, lazily. However, the unexpected happens. The crowd in the park seems larger than expected. While initially taken aback, shocked at the arrival of the thugs, the crowd decides to take on the assault. In a sudden turn of tables, the crowd get together and bundle the uninformed ladies into one lot and start beating them up!

I shout “Cut, Cut . . . Stop it!”

The crowd keeps beating the Lady Thugs up. In a while, they are badly beaten up! The Chief is shocked!

“Abort! Abort Laila!” The horrified Chief screams over the microphone.

Our cameraman, whose wife’s name is Laila and who is on her family way, is shocked and momentarily drops the camera before he realises that they are discussing “Operation Laila”.

However, the Lady Thugs are in a bad shape by now, in no position to hear the commands, least of all to obey the command.

The Chief calls for emergency rescue teams and ambulances to the spot. The Bloody Ladies are taken by stretchers into the ambulances. The whole episode is, however, shot in cameras, thanks to Mr Majnu, our cameraman.

Later, Operation Laila screened in the P***** Head Quarters, is analysed and the reasons for its failure are debated, discussed and found out!

“We should have chosen some other venue, not Meerut!”


However, this incident in Meerut in 1857, which was the very first spark in India’s Struggle for Freedom from the Thugs, never seems to have been reported in the media. And such a revolt is all but forgotten, ever since!

Clearway Focus: MSM

Let me bring to the attention of readers, a link on the sidebar of this blog: Clearway Focus. I have been expressing my views on issues relevant to India through Clearway. The issues chosen are random, in no specific order; the flow of this blog depends solely on events in the country.

However, I felt the need to focus on some elements that have beocme part of our social fabric. These are strong enough to rock the lives of people, yet receive scant or skewed attention in the media; instances that should have been isolated incidents but have become patterns, because of the lack of will by the Legislative. They reflect, in my view, fundamental flaws in the way we define and deal with crimes. I do not mind repeating what I have stated earlier: Laws are meant to make people balk before they take that first step towards crime; to let people indulge and then award them with sentences that make no difference to their attitudes is, childish.

In the spate of rape cases and crimes against women reported in the media, we have a brand new entry: Call Centre employee murdered in Bangalore. And we can be sure this is not going to be the last. The list will grow on and on unless we, as a society, learn how to react to acts by people who never deserved to be alive at all!

All may not be in the game

I tried hard to see the rationale behind the selection committee's decision to drop Ganguly for the third test. Kiran More may have been at pains to talk of the future of Indian cricket. But what would a future hold when the past is humiliated and trashed?

The former captain could have been dropped for the entire series. Or, the selectors could have closed the doors on him, once and for all. To dump someone who has contributed significantly to Cricket, after a decent performance at a Test, right in the middle of a series and to go on and say thet he could be considered again for the forthcoming series might make sense to the wise men who get to have their say over issues that matter; it definitely leaves me wondering if I have to work on my logical reasoning abilities to get in line with their thought patterns!

This is NOT a Political Blog!

Heck, is this turning into a political blog? If three successive posts can be political, then a blog could well be termed one! And I hate my blog being classified under an abominable terminology. I author this blog and I decide what this is all going to be about.

So, if some mad men create havoc in the Parliament, I am not going to give a damn about them. If a mentally challenged psycho attempts suicide in the Assembly, I will dismiss the news with utmost contempt. And if some mean creatures, under the veil of MP's, can stoop so low to make it to the front pages of the News Papers, I refuse to post on that. I don't want to waste this space in talking of hardened criminals who are so much accustomed to 'under-the-table' dealings that they accuse the media of making a 'mountain of a mole hill'. Is this one remark not sufficient to hang them in public, right in front of the Parliament?

Unfortunately, it's not my job to do that; and even words about this breed of infected lumps of flesh may well spoil this space. No more of them here!