CLEARWAY IS HIRING!!!

Clearway – Misty Road®, a subsidiary of Clearway Inc®, is on a hiring spree! A phenomenally successful business unit with operations across the country, Clearway – Misty Road® has been in action since 1947, funnelling billions and trillions in Rupees of revenue out of the system into Clearway Finance®. Reasons for the success are in the marrow of Misty Road®, with our Patented Technologies of Chameleon Behaviour©, Corroded-to-the-Core© and Helluloid Representatives©.

Clearway – Misty Road® is hunting for hard-core, Pachyderm Homo sapiens who can mint money from dust and who have the determination and will power to make a complete ass of the system. If you have it in your genes, go ahead and apply to this ‘Gold Rush’!

Application Form

Name:
Original Name:
Other Names:
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Education (If any):
Criminal Records: __________________________________
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Nationality:
Mother Tongue:
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Under World Links: __________________________________
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Number of Kidnaps attempted:
Number of Kidnaps effected:
Success Rate (Effected/Attempted %):
Income:
Other Income:
Extra Income:
Extra-ordinary Income:
Rate:
Asking Rate:
Market Rate:
Other Records of Horse Trading:
Assets:
Assets targeted for this year:
Existing Vote Bank (state targeted community):
Booth Captures attempted:
Booth Captures effected:
Success Rate (Effected/Attempted %):
‘Resources’ at hand for future Booth Captures:
Comfort Level with Plain Shirt/ Dhoti’s (White only): Low/ Normal/ Abnormal
Comfort Level with Kurta Pyjamas (White only): Low/ Normal/ Abnormal
Number of hoardings featuring your names:
Number of hoardings featuring your photos:
Willingness to have a foreign bank account: No/ Yes/ I already have one at Swiss
Willingness to deal in white money: No/ Never
Under-the-table dealings: High/ Very High/ Always
Recorded instances of vandalism in the “House”: ________________________
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Recorded instances of vandalism in the streets: ________________________
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Ability to wield chairs/ microphones ad hoc, as may be necessary: Good/ Excellent/ Expert
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Number of party switches this year:
Number of party switches last year:
Number of party switches planned for next year:
Favourite Holiday Destination: Chennai/ Goa
Willingness to stay underground in emergency: Yes/ No/ It depends


Declaration: I have never been true in any of my declarations and I never will be true to the letter and spirit in this declaration as well.

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Note: Personal secretaries of candidates who may not be in a position to read/ write may fill in the form on the candidate’s behalf; In that case, the Personal Secretary is required to sign the form on the candidate’s behalf while the candidate may imprint his left thumb impression.

Misty Road® encourages illiterates to apply – we are interested only in muscle power that can, as has already been declared, make a complete ass of the system.

Our Motto: **** the System!

A Tale of Two Tonnes

Alright, it’s cricket in the news again. With the torrent of runs in Pakistan, our boys have set out to redefine Test Cricket. Sehwag makes it to the front pages as Dravid walks back to the Dressing room, all smiles.

Strangely, the Asian heroes are left searching for the ball, wondering if it hit the bat and if it somehow did hit, trying to figure out where it landed, whenever they tour Australia! The contrast is due to one reason – there, matches are played on cricket pitches. And venues with cricket pitches are a bit different from the grounds where players play in the centre of the ground, on a rectangular patch of turf that stands out from the rest of the ground in that, the patch is shaved off the grass. So, you do get the difference between a Pitch and a Patch, don’t you?

When you bat on a patch, you are only supposed to make a tonne of it. It definitely is difficult to bring Asian roads to world standards; but then, it may not be all that tough to convert patches to pitches! And boys are only supposed to grow up into men – cricket is no child’s play, mind you!

THE CITY IS UNSAFE - and the Police will NOT act before it is Too Late!

Scene 1:

My cousin and I were having our coffees by around 9:45 PM when I saw the two kids approaching us. They saw me looking at them as they came laughing merrily – the girl quickly said something in the boy’s ear and their laughter vanished as they stood in front of us. It was a neutral expression in their faces as they made the gesture that they wanted some money.

I said: “I would not give any money. I can buy you food. Do you want food?” I waited to see their reaction. And their response was immediate.

“Yes sir. We will take the food”

It was getting late for my cousin. He wanted to go home even before I forced him to the coffee shop. So, I said I would handle the kids and I let him go. I walked with the kids to the restaurant just across the road. They said they were David and Manju.


Scene 2:

I ordered two plates of rice; the kids; David and Manju, wanted a ‘Take Away’. I placed the order and walked out of the restaurant to the platform with the kids. I wanted to know what their background was and initiated a chat with them. They were not going to schools; David was going to school but he discontinued. Manju was the last of 12 children and her dad had died in an accident. Her brothers had ceased worrying about her since their marriages.

I noticed that there were a few people who were having their supper on the side walk where we stood. It was a simple restaurant with no chairs but with circular tables, where people used to have foods, standing. There were groups of people who, I could see, were glancing at me as I walked past with the kids.

It was then, that the gang approached us.


Scene 3:

I was listening to David and Manju, who stood facing me. The men walked in between the kids and me. Just as they walked past, I saw a hand pull Manju along with the gang. I wasn’t prepared for this!

I looked up at the frail looking guy, fair, with traces of beard. He walked past as he pulled the girl.

I reached up to him. He turned back and looked straight into me.

I didn’t speak a word. I gestured to him that I would handle the kids and that he could mind his business. The guy smiled back at me as he loosened his grip on the girl.

Only then, I noticed the hunk who was walking in front of the frail guy. He was dark, held a live cigarette carelessly in his lips and was definitely drunk. And, he was pulling the boy, forcibly. The kid was helplessly trying to resist his force as he dragged him on. I could sense real trouble.

I walked up to the drunkard. I asked him to leave the kid.

He left David. Now, it was his turn to look at me. And then, to step towards me; and then, to lecture at me! (I was getting ready for something else!)

“It’s your mistake. You people are creating problems” he declared.

The kids were near me by now. I was trying to take them into the restaurant - the situation was bad outside.

I was moving into the restaurant as he yelled at me: “You people are spoiling them. What are they doing here at this time? You must not give them any money, not even a single paisa! If you want, give them food!” His voice was strong, loud and smelled of alcohol.

“Give food? That’s what I’m doing now. I’m buying them food. And, I didn’t ask for your advice. If someone does, go and lecture them” I shot back.

I knew it was idiotic to talk to a drunkard; it was dangerous to respond to one who moves in a gang! Still, I said what I did and moved into the restaurant with the kids. I thought it would be safe in the restaurant and the gang would move away. I was plain wrong!


Scene 4:

The food was not yet ready at the counter. I asked the kids to stay inside. Just then, I sensed the commotion behind me. I looked back to see the hunk walking into the restaurant. I noticed some of his gang was inside too! I knew the situation was getting serious. I could sense the kids getting terrified.

“Don’t give any food to them” he announced. Everyone in there, easily around 20 to 30 people, was noticing what was happening. It was now the turn of the employees in the self-service restaurant to be taken aback. The guy kept moving towards the counter at a steady pace, as he cautioned the waiters not to serve the kids. I was very much concerned about the safety of the kids. I had brought them there and I had put them in danger!

“Go away. Go now.” He threatened the kids, as he stood at the only passage that led to the exit. The passage was dotted with men from the gang. I looked at the kids and they were shocked; both Manju and David were crying loud! I had to act, quickly!

“Go away. Just go out of the restaurant.” I ordered the kids.

David didn’t know what to do. He was hungry and was horrified. He said something to me that didn’t get registered in my mind - I just had to get the kids out of there, immediately. I thought he said he wanted food.

“Go to the place where you saw me. Run there and wait for me. I will bring the food. Just go from here. Go!” I ordered so strongly that the kids fled past the hunk and the thugs. They were out of danger. I was not sure if I was! I faced the guy.

Strangely enough, the guy was in a mood for lectures. He repeated what he had already said. “You people are spoiling them. Never give them anything!”

I saw the solution to the problem. I readily agreed with what he said. I nodded and said “Yes. That’s right!” I gestured towards him to move on.

He seemed satisfied with himself. He walked out as his lieutenants followed him. I was surprised to find a lot of people, who were having their food outside, recognise the man. He was talking with them in his booming voice.

I returned to the counter. The rice was not ready yet. I ordered for “roti’s” for the amount that I had paid, in place of rice. They were packed as I looked outside for any trace of trouble that remained. The gang was now dispersing. They walked out of sight. I got the packet and walked up to the coffee shop where the kids found me. There were a few other kids now, some much elderly than David and Manju. The two of them saw me coming with the pack and they ran up towards me. I gave them the packs and warned them never to venture out when it’s dark, again! One of the girls in the group agreed; Manju and David nodded and said they would not come out when it’s dark.


Scene 5:

Just a few yards from the scene of action, a police patrol vehicle was stationed, with three men in uniforms – one of them at the driver’s seat. I approached them and briefed them of what was happening a few minutes ago, how it could potentially have got really messy, how the kids were at danger in the area and how a few drunken rascals ruled the world when it was dark.

They promised to take action.


Questions:

What do the police do about kids that keep roaming the streets at night?
What do the police do about rowdies who patrol the streets, right in the middle of residential areas, at night?
If it is a patrol vehicle, why is it stationed, instead of being on the move?
How well equipped are the patrolling police personnel, to deal with emergency situations?
Even if the patrol vehicle is to be stationed, why is it conveniently parked in the calm area of the place, rather than where the crowd is, near the restaurant and the bar right next to it?
Why are bars being allowed in residential areas, rather than being relegated to the outskirts of the city limits?

Because, they don't reside at IISc!

Words become redundant to describe what bullets can do, when mere words sent electronically can throw normalcy off course! New rules are set and Internet Café’s are on the watch list. Browsing Centres in the Southern State require customers to register their names, addresses and telephone numbers, as a result of the Parliament bomb threat mail. E-Mails are bound to be actively monitored and combed through for words that may be as mundane as a combination of the letters ‘R’, ‘D’ and ‘X’. I do wonder if 'Red OXide' would set the panic button on! Or, imagine the case where an e-mail discusses if the floorings of the ‘Parliament’ are coated in ‘Red OXide’! Hmmm, tough job for those in the business of decrypting!

As one would expect, speculation is rife if IISc would be repeated! Not a particularly good mood to begin the New Year, I would have thought! But that’s the way the cookie crumbles! It should be of no surprise if every institute that starts with ‘Indian’ is put on red alert, with special care taken towards those that have ‘Science’ on their names.

For one thing, if I hailed from Tirunelveli, I wouldn’t go to the net café that is comfortably situated right next to my house, send a bomb threat to the Parliament filled with the most important lives in the Nation and get back home, waiting for the police force to arrive knocking at my doors. I would definitely have bought a ticket to Vadodara, then would have come down to Hyderabad, sent the mail to the Assembly there, then would have headed to Gaya, before heading to Agra and finally settling down at Bhopal. If that goes for something as harmless as an e-mail, would the terrorists who had all the sophistications to bring loads of ammunition into the IISc to commit the dastardly act be stupid enough to target another Institute, say, IIM?

It is a lot easier to guess what the second target could be and put up a show of utmost sincerity in nabbing the culprits, than it is to eavesdrop on what they plan to do before they do it! It’s not just the pain of blood – it’s the awe of ‘First Blood’ that goes into their decisions of targets. Our police forces are too intelligent to be setting up shops in front of every Institute, waiting for the criminal to walk up to them to shake hands with them!

The New Year

Here we are, right at the door steps of 2006, knocking in zealous anticipation of what is in store! I feel hard pressed to end the year on a positive note at Clearway – it’s hardly been a couple of months or so since Clearway sprung up lazily in one corner of the vast expanse of cyberspace, evoking a lackadaisical response from some of the hordes of Netizens who are used to hard-core blogging– “Which Way? Clear What?” Getting back on track – of ending the year on a positive note!

So, this New Year, I define Clearway - if I haven’t done so yet! Clearway is the bus with seats that have no back rests, with windows that have no shutters. Clearway is the Machine gun that slays the scientist. Clearway is the currency that goes into their pockets, the questions they forget to ask; Clearway is the bill book that is never written, the taxes never paid. Clearway is the prison wall that is flattened, the border that is infiltrated, the Quarters that is overstayed in. Clearway is the society that muffles voices, the media that hypes up faces; the cricket that turns into politics, the politics that goes for a toss. Clearway is the blog that criticises persons, the person that reprimands the blog. Clearway is the pervert, the patriot and the perfectionist. Clearway is the rain, the flood and the famine. Clearway is fear, terror and the assassin. Clearway is the activity, the action, the activist. Clearway is India, Revolution and beyond!

I was never good enough to predict New Years; but Clearway thrives on element, energy and the ego! Wishing everyone, a Great Year ahead!

The Key is in the Mind!

“Very few of us imbibe Mahatma Gandhi's words: 'We must become the change we want to see in the world.’ Very few of us want to do more than criticise the state of affairs around us. Very few of us take up the initiative to change things. One Chennai neighbourhood is a glowing exception. Their little miracle holds the promise that if more of us think and do like they do, big changes are easy.”

I had read through these lines in the story before the thought struck me – ‘This is yet another Positive story! So, is it Shobha Warrier again?’ I looked up at the by-line and . . . Yes, it was her! This “Shobha Warrier – Rediff” combination has unleashed yet another account that tells us what ‘can’ be achieved, rather than lamenting on what is ‘not’ being done!

The story is good on more than one count; it’s about the way a bunch of lads decided to tackle a perennial problem – water! It’s about focus, commitment, and concerted effort. The way the SYMA people have decided to zero-in on one issue and the medium they chose for delivery of their message is worth mentioning. And it is, after all, about ‘being the change that one wants to see’!

"The moment we are back from office, we dedicate ourselves to social work. Similarly, mornings are also dedicated to community work." This comment by Mr Ramani, the SYMA President, makes it sound all too simple. The purpose that drive them towards their ‘way of life’ and the energy levels needed to sustain their actions over time are just what could mean the difference between our present and our future!

"Expelbalm" - the Only solution for Chronic "Headaches"

Happy News! The Speaker of our Lok Sabha has fewer heads for aches now – the trouble-mongers have been packed off to a safe destination! And the Rajya Sabha is leaner by a digit as well. The media claims this an ‘unprecedented’ move! And Cobra Post is still alive, as of this minute. All this does augur well for our democracy!

However, our representatives are not unanimous about the issue. There have been protests against the way the members have been thrown out and the BJP has staged a ‘Walk-Out’. Mr L. K. Advani seems to have taken umbrage at this “Harsh” act! I fail to see much reason in his stand, however!

These folks have just earned a handsome amount and must no doubt be in a jubilant mood at having had their faces in the media. It would be "harsh" on them, only if we refuse to let them go on a holiday, touring around, spending their ‘hard earned’ money. And this is Christmas Eve and they have every right to make the most of a New Year bash! So, don’t spoil their moods through ‘Harsh’ protests. But, if you do want to express yourselves, please feel free to walk out of the House. It would definitely help the Speaker and give him a break, this festive season!

This Day, That Age: Meerut

CLEARWAY EXCLUSIVE: HISTORY UNEARTHED - A DIRECTOR'S DIARY!

“So, you want to force yourselves on to the spotlight, huh? Welcome, gentlemen, I mean, gentlewomen, please occupy centre stage.”

They blink, and stare at me.

I ask the Chief, “Why do they stare that way?”

“Use simple English man!”

I clear my throat.

“I mean, you want to see yourself in the media, is it not?”

They look confused.

“Okay, you want to be in photo, in TV?”

They beam. I sigh of relief.

“Good. Could you move a bit on to the right . . . No, no, not to my right, your right . . . yeah, that’s right.”

“Okay, this is an action scene. But, this is not the usual scene where you come after the fight is over. You come and start the fight here. Okay?”

They nod, suggesting they might have understood something.

“The name of this programme is “Uniformed Thugs” . . . I mean, “Uninformed Thugs” . . . or, “Lady Thugs”, or, “Rowdy Lady” – it’s your choice”

The Chief is not satisfied. I search for some action-packed code name and come up with a brilliant “Operation Laila”.

The Chief is delighted!

“Operation Laila!” The Chief repeats proudly.

By now, one of the lady thugs is about to doze off. Her buddy wakes her up.

“Oh, no, you can not sleep today. Yeah . . . I know it’s difficult. But, don’t you want to be in the media, I mean, in photo, in TV, in Paper tomorrow?”

They agree! They try to keep their eyes wide open . . . they try hard.

“Good. So, today, you can not sleep. You have to slap women.”

The intelligent Thief, oops, Chief, asks “Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’? You are not P*****men, you are P*****women! You can only slap women. You can’t do anything else to them, I guess!”

(My Editor censored some obscene words that were recorded; can’t help it)

I question the Chief: “Further, how else can you make news? Taking bribe is old fashioned. If this is a male team, may be we can try a grape scene. But, you want to make this woman squad popular. I think this is the best way.”

The Chief agrees half-heartedly. “Whatever, just make us popular. All the time, the men are in news. We want to prove we are equal to them.”

I sigh, and continue with my direction.

“So, we will have the cameras ready. When I say “Action”, you must go and slap the first woman you see in the Park. When you see the second woman, you must pull her hair, and if you see a couple, I mean, a man and woman together, beat both of them. If you see a lady in saree, pull it off. Then, you drag them out of the park and shove them in front of the cameras. When I say “Cut”, you stop. Is it clear?”

The team looks dumb, with an odd expression. The Chief seems bored.

I decide to break the instructions into parts and I repeat them, sentence by sentence. I point out to and mark people in the park and give roles to each uninformed woman, allotting victims in pairs to the stouter ladies in the crew. I make sure that every Rowdy Lady is allocated with a victim or two.

I get back to my place; make sure that cameras are in position, and then, “Action”!

It being late afternoon, normally sleeping hours for them, they amble lethargically into the park. The ladies walk up to their designated victims and start acting out their roles, lazily. However, the unexpected happens. The crowd in the park seems larger than expected. While initially taken aback, shocked at the arrival of the thugs, the crowd decides to take on the assault. In a sudden turn of tables, the crowd get together and bundle the uninformed ladies into one lot and start beating them up!

I shout “Cut, Cut . . . Stop it!”

The crowd keeps beating the Lady Thugs up. In a while, they are badly beaten up! The Chief is shocked!

“Abort! Abort Laila!” The horrified Chief screams over the microphone.

Our cameraman, whose wife’s name is Laila and who is on her family way, is shocked and momentarily drops the camera before he realises that they are discussing “Operation Laila”.

However, the Lady Thugs are in a bad shape by now, in no position to hear the commands, least of all to obey the command.

The Chief calls for emergency rescue teams and ambulances to the spot. The Bloody Ladies are taken by stretchers into the ambulances. The whole episode is, however, shot in cameras, thanks to Mr Majnu, our cameraman.

Later, Operation Laila screened in the P***** Head Quarters, is analysed and the reasons for its failure are debated, discussed and found out!

“We should have chosen some other venue, not Meerut!”


However, this incident in Meerut in 1857, which was the very first spark in India’s Struggle for Freedom from the Thugs, never seems to have been reported in the media. And such a revolt is all but forgotten, ever since!

Clearway Focus: MSM

Let me bring to the attention of readers, a link on the sidebar of this blog: Clearway Focus. I have been expressing my views on issues relevant to India through Clearway. The issues chosen are random, in no specific order; the flow of this blog depends solely on events in the country.

However, I felt the need to focus on some elements that have beocme part of our social fabric. These are strong enough to rock the lives of people, yet receive scant or skewed attention in the media; instances that should have been isolated incidents but have become patterns, because of the lack of will by the Legislative. They reflect, in my view, fundamental flaws in the way we define and deal with crimes. I do not mind repeating what I have stated earlier: Laws are meant to make people balk before they take that first step towards crime; to let people indulge and then award them with sentences that make no difference to their attitudes is, childish.

In the spate of rape cases and crimes against women reported in the media, we have a brand new entry: Call Centre employee murdered in Bangalore. And we can be sure this is not going to be the last. The list will grow on and on unless we, as a society, learn how to react to acts by people who never deserved to be alive at all!

All may not be in the game

I tried hard to see the rationale behind the selection committee's decision to drop Ganguly for the third test. Kiran More may have been at pains to talk of the future of Indian cricket. But what would a future hold when the past is humiliated and trashed?

The former captain could have been dropped for the entire series. Or, the selectors could have closed the doors on him, once and for all. To dump someone who has contributed significantly to Cricket, after a decent performance at a Test, right in the middle of a series and to go on and say thet he could be considered again for the forthcoming series might make sense to the wise men who get to have their say over issues that matter; it definitely leaves me wondering if I have to work on my logical reasoning abilities to get in line with their thought patterns!

This is NOT a Political Blog!

Heck, is this turning into a political blog? If three successive posts can be political, then a blog could well be termed one! And I hate my blog being classified under an abominable terminology. I author this blog and I decide what this is all going to be about.

So, if some mad men create havoc in the Parliament, I am not going to give a damn about them. If a mentally challenged psycho attempts suicide in the Assembly, I will dismiss the news with utmost contempt. And if some mean creatures, under the veil of MP's, can stoop so low to make it to the front pages of the News Papers, I refuse to post on that. I don't want to waste this space in talking of hardened criminals who are so much accustomed to 'under-the-table' dealings that they accuse the media of making a 'mountain of a mole hill'. Is this one remark not sufficient to hang them in public, right in front of the Parliament?

Unfortunately, it's not my job to do that; and even words about this breed of infected lumps of flesh may well spoil this space. No more of them here!

He 'Speaks' but is Seldom Heard: The Parliament

The post of the Speaker of the Lok Sabha is one of the most prominent positions in the Government of India. The Speaker is supposed to steer the sessions of the Parliament in a way that would give an aura of respectability to the proceedings; in effect, he conducts the debates and discussions that decide the fate of the Nation. When he observes that he is “ashamed” to be in the position, it means that he has, in reality, been reduced to being no more than a desperate constable trying to regulate traffic in an utterly chaotic, totally unregulated market place.

Parliament is no market place but; it is a representation of a nation that prides itself on its cultural values. However, the nation is quite diverse in its constitution indeed. Perhaps, it is this diversity that reflects in the chaos in the House. Possibly, the Speaker hasn’t been equipped with the relevant powers to deal with representations from the variegated backgrounds that the members have come to project.

So, dear Members of the Parliament, we do not blame you. The authors of our Constitution might have merely skipped the sections that were supposed to spell the powers of the Speaker out. We only request you to have some consideration towards the poor chap that keeps yelling at the top of his voice, who is never heard amidst the constant uproar that you create. After all, the people who elected you are under an illusion that you would, one day, make them emerge stronger, healthier. They may be heart broken to find that your Head Master has marked you all with red ink as being below average. And in this Information Age, your school is not a closed room as it was till a few years ago. Your behaviour and your teacher’s remarks are being aired live and your Progress Report is being made available electronically to the whole world. While we do appreciate your enthusiasm in expressing yourselves, please have some respect to the helpless man who has nothing but a chair and a microphone at his disposal. He is only trying to streamline your opinions, helping you grow in the process. Please do not make him feel guilty of doing no justice to his salary.

Assembly suspends suicide victim

Our laws are intended to punish criminals after crimes are committed. That is baffling, in a few cases. Consider, for instance, the laws that dictate that no one has the right to kill oneself. I don’t have a clue as to what the punishment is for those, who somehow do manage to kill themselves! Would the best possible punishment be to bring them back to life?

Let’s not get into the habit of ridiculing the laws of the land. But what of those who wish they were dead but never manage to enact their wish? The law has no problems with them. After all, they merely wish they were dead! Wishing is no offence, as long as nothing is done about it. Many people wish others were dead; and our laws have no business with them either! However, this is no universal truth. In Iraq, for instance, Mr Hussein might have merely wished he had Weapons of Mass Destruction – and that amounted to a war crime. But in the United States, Mr Clinton wished he had done some sensational stuff, and he almost did it too; well, almost! So, that doesn’t really get punished. The point here is that countries disagree when it comes to the ‘wish’ to do wrong.

Back in India, our friend, Shiv Sena MLA from Akot, Mr Gulabrao Gawande tried to kill himself in the Assembly! It was not merely a wish (and we never would know what he really wished when he did what he did). Had he merely been wishing and did nothing, our laws would not have taken notice of him. But, he suddenly moved into the well (no, it’s not the well that has water in it – so, that was not the suicide attempt) with a bottle of poison and a bottle of kerosene! (Why didn’t anyone tell him that he needed only one of them, and not both?) Perhaps, he wanted to be doubly sure that he got the results. (On second thought, he might have wanted to spare the state of some expenses, by using the poison first and kerosene next.) But, as it turned out, his was an unsuccessful attempt that was merely a ‘wish’.

Since his wish was backed by some action (the Speaker Mr Babasaheb Kupekar might have even suspected his intentions as that of attempted murder rather than suicide and would have had his heart in his mouth for a moment – from his view, Mr Gawande would have sprinted with the poison and kerosene towards him!). Well, it didn’t matter if the idea was to use poison or kerosene – it was attempted suicide and many MLA’s who were alert and awake were eye witnesses to the attempt. Since this happened in India, Mr Gawande was just suspended.

He was unfortunate not to have been in the US. For, had he been there, he could have easily argued that he only wished to do that, he almost did it, but never quite managed to ‘complete the processes’. He could have just got away with the incident and not have been suspended! On the other hand, I’m glad for him that he was not in Iraq. Otherwise, the judgement would have been to “Jump on him, grab his poison and the (expensive) kerosene, put him behind the bars, try him in a special court, convict him of his offence and hang him!” The result would have been the same anyway.

"Myth" has three Stripes and a Wheel

Schools take the onus of inscribing young souls with reverence towards the National Flag on themselves. Other social factors aid in developing a sense of pride in the minds of children, a feeling of ownership, of belongingness about the symbol that flies high.

But by no means does this fable get reflected along the dusty road in a village in rural India. The national flag stands just as tall as a couple of other flags with political colours, with one of those occupying the centre stage. Rested on the base of the pole is a metal bar that seems to have been forsaken from the remains of some ancient building. Right next to the Flag post is a tea stall where people gather to discuss local politics. Apparently, one of its customers has parked his bicycle right there, where in schools, students would witness their Physical Training instructor help their Principal hoist the flag. At the backdrop adorns an abandoned bus stop that has somehow managed to survive the vagaries of nature. At the other side of the flag pole is a broken bench, claiming its rightful place – the garbage collection point ranges for a few square feet around the flag pole.

Talking of students, hundreds of them pass along the road on their way to and from schools. Quite possibly, the folks in the schools do it right when it gets to the tradition about the tri-colour. But the myth is busted by the abundant evidence to the contrary, out of the school campuses in the ‘real world’. I can imagine a child scorn at the idea of the ritualistic assembly where he/she is made to toil for an indefinitely long period in the scorching heat, only to witness a weird, funny episode that culminates in saluting a dirty piece of cloth that the child gets to see everyday on top of the roadside dustbin.

Way Forward: Rediff tests "Positive"

We all . . . okay, most of us . . . at least, some of us . . . alright, I accuse the media of focussing on the negative most of the time. Money-minded, business in every breath, scant sense of social responsibility in any of its reporting aspects – and they do deserve a significant part of the blame, don’t they?

But Rediff has set out to redefine “Positive”. It was an impressive take on the life of a woman who decided to remove the initials and live the Positive! Almost Everything about the article is positive: its focus, the way Kousalya is projected, Kousalya’s fight against the grave injustice meted out to her, her perceptions of the society she finds herself in and its attitude towards affected people like her, the influence of Ashok Pillai on her, her outlook and strategy towards life, her love for children and the joy that she extracts out of simple moments like riding a two-wheeler – it’s been a confluence of everything positive! The way she recounts the “advantages” of being HIV positive is amazing! If at all there is anything negative in the whole article, it’s Kousalya’s view of men - "Because I have not seen any man who is different. I find them still the same” is what she has got to say. And what else could one expect from someone who drowned to the depths before surfacing after all the strife in life!

Rediff and Shobha Warrier have done a great job in telling the world what being positive is all about in Rediff Specials on World AIDS Day!

The Bill Collector

I somehow fell into this strange habit of collecting bills; when I buy some stuff, I get the bills and file them – just as souvenirs, nothing else. So, when the photo studio guy said he was not issuing any bills for the Rs 215 that I had spent in his shop, I had to choose a different option.

In fact, I tried to cajole him into issuing a bill. In turn, he gave me a couple of choices – “You either go without a bill or you pay the ‘tax’ of 12% of the amount (Rs 25.80) in excess of the ‘billed’ amount and get the bill for Rs 215”. Since I couldn’t really see why I should pay Rs 240.80 to get a bill for Rs 215 and because we couldn’t reach an agreement in the course of our discussion, I decided, as a customer, to leave my vendor satisfied and chose Option Number 1 that he proffered: To go without bill. However, I was kind enough to tell him that it might not be a well accepted gesture to point fingers to his customers whom he spoke with. He said something in return which I thought would be wise to ignore – I was in no mood to try my hand at martial arts on a Sunday morning!

However, I did choose Option number 3, without informing him - I was, after all, addicted to collecting souvenirs! As I left the studio, I clicked my camera and saved the memories associated with the studio to my system. For interested readers who are always in search of context, all this happened at “Maria Colours Lab, 4-C, Balaji Mansion, Opp. Junction Bus Stand, Madurai Road, Tirunelveli Junction, Tamil Nadu, India. Tel: +91 462 2323230" (a nice number that!). The Photo of the studio can be found here.

Now, let me clarify: The whole post is just a recount of an incident that turned me from a “Bill Collector” to a “Photo Collector”. I do not expect any public servant or social enthusiast among readers to get carried away and report it to the concerned department or any of the Tax Authorities to conduct stealth or surprise inspections at the shop to check if they really behave this way – after all, I expect readers to believe what I say here and cross checking may not necessarily be necessary. This is merely a blog and will remain one for the foreseeable future. However, I must confess, I definitely intend to visit the shop again, some day.

PS. Readers who are in a similar habit of ‘snapping’ up ‘customer-centred’ shops that are not too keen on billing the customer are welcome to drop a note to me, here. I like collecting well taken pictures, you see!

Floods? Here? You must be kidding!

It took me a moment to come to terms with what the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu was talking of, when briefing press people about the flood situations in the State, in DD News Channel (at 9:20 PM). Though I can’t recall the exact words used by her, it went something to this effect: The positive effect of the rains is that the lakes are full, the dams are full and ground water levels have risen. Within a few days, things will be back to normal.

If only the response to devastating floods from the Chief of a State can be as simple as that! The damage to crop, the property losses, the roads torn apart, the cancelled trains and the resultant hardships faced by passengers, the rail tracks that remain twisted, the eroded bridges, the buses washed off the roads, the travelers injured, the scores of them carried along the rivers, the bodies recovered and lost – they all seem to have been discounted to arrive at a net profit scenario! Yes, things will be back to normal in a matter of days. The short to medium term reality might be a better ground water situation in the state. But, is this all that a Chief has got to say about, when it’s still misery all around? It is either a dismal effort to project the Government as one which is so optimistic even in the face of such wide spread damage, a ploy to play down the severity of the situation, or it is a blatant display of utter ignorance (if not arrogance) about the scenario on the ground. In any case, it underscores the scant regard that people in power have towards the sufferings and sentiments of the affected people.

Rains wreak havoc: Tamil Nadu

Unprecedented rains continue to flood Tamil Nadu and cost lives. Cuddalore seems to be the worst hit, with many more districts suffering heavily from the deluge.

Roads have been eroded and rail tracks have been mangled. Landslides have added to the damage to train traffic, with most train services to Southern Tamil Nadu suspended. Lakes threaten to give way to mounting pressures. Villages are submerged; a couple of buses are reported to have been washed away. Amidst heavy damage to property, more rains are forecast for at least two more days to come.

Water hasn’t been the source of misery on such a large scale in India in the recent past. No amount of planning could possibly have prepared the country for this fury of nature.

Drop Sachin!

Sachin has to be dropped. Yes, that’s right. He needs to be told in plain terms that he is being dropped because he doesn’t perform these days.

I am among the ardent fans of the Master and I joined the country in welcoming him back to the side, after a six-month holiday. He announced his return in style. And that’s all that I could remember of his batting in this series and the one past. For those who think a series or two may not be good enough to judge a player, that argument doesn’t hold good for Sachin. He is not among those who would take their time to find their nick. He is the most gifted of the lot in the present age and it is criminal on his part not to apply his skills. And for someone who has become larger than life, the team should be able to bank on him as a rock. Sachin has failed to deliver the goods.

Blame it on his stardom and the resultant high expectations on him, if you please – but that’s the way it is. Because even stars are human beings, and it may sometimes take a rap or even a slap to shake things up for them. Drop him now; or, if you feel he would bounce back at Mumbai, wait for one more encounter and then, drop him.

Die for it!

Time and again, this has happened. The thugs find it all too easy to eliminate the honest rather than mend their ways. Manju Nathan is the latest victim.

But, we announce that his end is not a victory for the vile. Muffling a few voices will not buy the criminals, the license to commit atrocities and get away with them. People are no longer wary of being victimized by chance – they are willing to die for their cause; and their numbers will only rise in giant waves, till the rotting filth gets drowned and is washed away!

So, to every Disciple of Truth: You are born and are destined to die one day - Die for your cause!