All that Glitters . . . Escape from Tata Indicom - Part 2

After all the struggle, the connection finally seems to have become alright at our customer's. He seems to have received calls in double digits from Tata Indicom on Monday morning (from different executives but) before someone ventured in to solve the issue.

Strangely enough, there wasnt any written commnication from Tata, responding to the strongly worded mails from our consumer. And the consumer himself had to make a few calls in the morning before the soldiers from Tata Indicom realised the problem.

It is disappointing that a premier business house of the country, which has been pioneering stuff for years, has not bothered to be moved till the consumer went all out for the services that he rightfully deserved! And it certainly is baffling that in this era when "Customer Service" is a basic tool, well established organisations that are supposed to be all ears to sense what the customer feels, have ignored him totally, merely minutes after the sale had been effected!

It definitely gets irritating when one has to brief scores of executives of the same problem over and over again! Where has organisational structure gone? Could someone imagine 20+ sales people visiting a corporate customer for a sale and convince the Purchase Manager of the quality of their company?

This tale sadly proves that all that is a "Brand" may not "Solid" - they may merely be "Myths"! Tata would definitely have to get back to its basics. Or, it would have to face such posts as these growing in numbers and echoing loudly in the market.

Red Alert: Escape from Tata Indicom!

The following is the communication between a consumer and a company, over e-mail. Clearway got access to this chain of e-mails, that shows the shabby work that ISP's do in this country.

9 May 2006, Tuesday

To: customerservice@vsnl.co.in

From: Consumer

Subject: Internet Connection not working

Hi,

My Log in Id is ******. My Application Number is ******.

My account was activated today by your service personnel. However, Im not able to access the net now. I logged off once after my account was activated. When I try to log on, I can see that the net is on (100 Mbps) but web pages are not opening up.

I spoke with one of your Customer Service Executives - she said there was some problem with the connection, though the net was on. However, the call got disconnected. Please check the problem and rectify it at the earliest.

Regards,
*****

11 May 2006, Thursday

From: Tata Indicom

Dear Mr ******,

We regret for delay in responding to your mail. Thank you for writing your concern regarding unable to login to our notice.

We understand and sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to you in this regard.

With reference to your email, we would like to inform you that your concern has already been noticed to the network team and they are working on high priority basis. Our team will call you with the feedback at the earliest.

We need your valuable time and patience during this period which helps us to serve you better.

For any further assistance, please feel free to contact Customer Service http://www.tataindicombroadband.com/contactus.html (the link contains the location wise contact numbers) or mail us on http://us.f327.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=customerservice@vsnl.co.in. We will be delighted to assist you.

Warm Regards,

******,

Customer Service,

TATA Indicom Broadband.

11 May 2006, Thursday

From: Consumer

Hi,

Thanks for the mail.

But the problem is that there have been only problems since I registered with you. Initially, the connection was promised in 8 - 10 days after I paid through cheque - it took more than 3 weeks since then.

And in these 3 days since the connection is up, I have complained thrice - and the problem is still very much there, intact. I dont think I can stand this poor service from you any longer if you do not rectify the situation immediately.

This is a prepaid service and no life membership. I would opt to cancel my membership if I do not get my connections from tomorrow, Friday, 12 May. If you state that may not be possible, I can assure you I would never renew any of my services with anything associated with Tata. And be sure I would spread the word about your shabby services as much as I can.

I was promised that you would call me in 24 hours and it's been more than that now. I do not want any more calls. The problem gets rectified tomorrow or I walk out. Period! Customer servise is no lip service. Tata should have known better.

******.

12 May 2006, Friday.

From: Consumer

Hi,

Im disappointed that you have not cared to respond to a mail where I had virtually set a deadline for you to act. You have touched new low in Customer Service.

I cancel my subscription to your services. You may please send your personnel to pack the rolls of cables back into their bags from my residence. My association with you has been nothing more than complaints and headaches, not to mention the amount that I spent calling your Customer Support Executives.

I hope you wouldn't create problems at least when Im winding up my association with your esteemed organisation. Be sure, this is no way to do business.

******

13 May 2006, Saturday

From: Tata Indicom

Thank you for bringing your Broad band connection issue to our notice. With reference to your email, we trust the needful has been done and your concern regarding No Browsing of your Broadband connection has been resolved after the assistance provided by our Customer Service Executive. We hope everything is working fine. Should you require any further assistance, please feel free to write to us to serve you better. Thank you for your time and patience. For any further assistance, please feel free to contact Customer Service at http://www.tataindicombroadband.com/contactus.html (the link contains the location wise contact numbers ) or mail us on http://us.f327.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=customerservice@vsnl.co.in. We will be delighted to assist you.

Warm Regards,

******,

Customer Service,

TATA Indicom Broadband.

13 May 2006, Saturday

From: Consumer

You are unbelievable!

I wonder how you could "trust the needful has been done", when I, who lodged the complaint, havent expressed my satisfaction yet that the problem has been rectified!

And you have mailed me in such a cool tone as if everything has been working perfectly fine, not a word of apology, not a sign of efforts towards pacification!

I understand that your systems are not in line with the advances in Information Technology. I guess that's the reason you have not been able to rectify a problem that has been pestering me right from the day of inception of your services - if at all I could use the word "Services" to describe what you have been doing!

Be sure - I am not able to connect to the net still. Please do not sit in an ivory tower and dream that all your connections are working perfectly alright. Tata Indicom Broadband connections are a mess, as I have recently discovered.

I do not need a stereotypic mail from one of your customer services personnel; I need to know that the problems in the field have reached those at the top. And Im going public about all the sloppy "Services" that you have been providing. At this moment, this issue could have been published in any of the media or discussion forums, so that the world knows what you are and the consumers escape from the nightmare that your company has come to be!

That was the latest news about "Customer Service" in India. Stay tuned for more news about fresh action.

Breaking News - "Bribes are Perfectly Legal" and "Spineless Worms cast their Votes"

This election was different; they legalised Bribes. And the election commission condoned it; and the people watched it, actively participated in it and accepted it merrily.

Alright, this is a Democracy - but aren't these folks taking Democracy too far? Or, they are taking it too lightly, perhaps? Whichever way it is, Elections are no longer the results of a 5 year performance; they are a sham; they are a Shame! Just as a Food marketeer would sell a sack of rice and announce a pack of pickles "Free", just as an FMCG company would bundle a soap with a bottle of shampoo, so have the parties been announcing freebies - Colour Televisions, Gas stoves, Gold, Cows . . . the list seems endless and is ridiculous.

This election season brought to light, what was one of the dark realities of our society - that Bribe is in the texture of a Democracy. That the Vigilance Department, or whatever it is known as, is a farce. That the election commission is nothing but an "Event Management" organisation. That democracy is a system designed to make people crazy. That political parties are liars and rogues and would sell anything and anyone to get to power. That we, the people, are worms squirming haplessly in the filthy ditch that our society is!

Sad End of an Innocent Victim

It couldn't have been worse for the family of the Engineer who was abducted and beheaded by some brutal elements called the Taliban. What they achieved through this cowardly act is not clear. If the Taliban call themselves a force, they should have fought their enemies; to kidnap an unarmed civilian and murder him mercilessly and keep hiding like eunuchs makes them look the meanest of creatures on the planet.

Hope the bereaved family musters the strength to face the hell that its life has turned into!

What will you do?

I got a lot of brick bats for my last post. Some threatened to walk out of my blog; some said they had never seen anything sillier than that; some said they were so upset with my post that they didnt eat for a couple of days!

Actually, it was all serious business around that I thought I had to make some sense out of it. In any case, there is some food for thought this time.

When an ambulance gets stuck in traffic, what is the public supposed to do? When there's no where to move, what will the public do? When the arrogant thick skinned wooden heads dont know they have to give way, what can one do? When some one is fighting for life amidst the traffic, can anything be done at all?

Moral of the Story: Nothing is Impossible!

I have been an ardent proponent of the school of thought that there is something about the way Indians do whatever they do, that can not be matched all that easily by rivals. They have their own patented ways of going about things - just the way the Japanese are known for their technological inventions, Germans for their Engineering prowess or Americans for their unused brains when it comes to External Affairs.

I was travelling by bike the other day in a blend of Urban and the Rural, at normal speed. I could hear the sound of a weird engine approaching me. Since I had to concentrate on the road to avoid any damage to the shock absorbers, I didnt take much strain in turning back to look at the source of the sound - though I kept wondering what it might be. I could hear it nearing me, gradually. It must have been travelling slightly faster than me; in a while, I could see its shadow overtake my bike and then, I could see the wheel. Strangely enough, it was another bike. But the noise was something that I wasn't used to. As I turned to have look at who was riding it, I was shocked!

Not because of the person who was there - but because of the place where he was! He was sitting on the Petrol Tank of the bike and was leaning on the handle bar. And Im sure even if he wanted to move a couple of centimeters forward, it would be an agonising experience for him. His feet were on the crash guard and his folded knees were in front of the bike, right above the wheel. Well, in a nut shell, it was an awkward position - you wouldnt want to give it a try; that's for sure!

Even as I was wondering why he chose to ride a bike that way, the vehicle kept overtaking me. I didnt want to risk losing my balance while trying to grasp the gravity of the situation - still, kept glancing at it. Then, I came to know why he had placed himself that way - there was one more guy sitting , well, not on the seat, but on the petrol tank, again! He was leaning against the back of the first joker; he held his head atop the first one's shoulders, and he had his hands on the bike's head light. I didnt have the time nor the courage to see where he had placed his feet - because, by then, I could see that there was one more man behind the second person.

I almost lost balance then and decided enough was enough. I managed to pull up at the road side, and stopped safely, letting the threesome move ahead! To my horror, it was not a threesome at all! The three were followed by two more gentlemen! The third one was on the seat, the fourth one fully on the seat and the last guy, half on the seat and half aerial! There was a sack tied at the end of the bike, just beneath the last man!

I was lost! Here I was, trying to focus on the road, avoiding pot holes and riding so carefully, all alone - and here was a five man army, that kept overtaking me slowly and steadily, and kept going even as I called it quits!

I was trying to figure out something - I had to find the answers to some questions! "Of the five, who was actually Riding? How many of them knew how to ride a bike? How did they get into their positions? How would they fill petrol? Okay, if a police constable wanted to check their licenses, who is to be held responsible? How many licneses are necessary to ride a bike in such a way? Should all of them be above the age of 18? Can there be more than two "Riders" for one bike? Who would change gears? Who would apply brakes? Or was there only one driver and were the rest, navigators? Or were they passengers? Well, were there just two wheels???"

I was confused! And I decided that I had to find the answer to the puzzle that would make the Chief Justice resign!

I re-started my bike. I over took the train. I wanted to see how they stopped the bike. I blocked their way as I reduced the speed gradually, in such a way that the train had no other option but to stop on its way. The ten eyes were frowning and the five faces were annoyed, even as they came to a complete halt! I blocked them completely and got off the bike.

I could see ten feet on the ground - still couldn't make out who the driver was! I approached them.

"What?" asked one of them - I wasn't sure whose voice it was, of the five.

"I have a problem with my bike and have a long way to go" I said.

The gang looked puzzled. Five voices followed. "So?"

"Can you give me a lift please???"

Shame on you, Bangalore!

There was absolute anarchy right in the heart of the famed Silicon City! With shops plundered, every visible glass broken, petrol stations damaged, showrooms rampaged, the scene in Bangalore by the evening of 13th April 2006 was that of a war zone. Worse, despite all the pillage, not much security was visible on the roads that evening; in other words, anyone could easily have taken advantage of the absolute lawlessness and the prevailing commotions. Whether such incidents have been reported remains to be seen.

What follows is a sample of the havoc that a mindless mob wreaked on the Capital City of Karnataka, following the demise of Film Icon Dr Raj Kumar. The snaps are not exhaustive - they are all from the vicinity of the residence of the departed Hero. Worse incidents have been reported from the other parts of the City - including that of a Police man on Duty having been beaten to death!

Meanwhile, the Chief Minister of Karnataka has interestingly remarked that a major reason for the commotion was the dispatch of police forces in huge numbers to the neighbouring states of Kerala and Tamil Nadu on election duty! That does raise some speculation as to the logical abilities of a state that sent so much of its force out as to not provide security to the path along an 11 km long procession.

On the other hand, it makes on wonder if the solution for a perennial menace has been dug out by the new Government - if Karnataka has been benevolent enough to pack all of its force out to its neighbours on their election duty, the Government would certainly let all of River Cauvery run down to Tamil Nadu this summer. So, do we rejoice at the prospect of a dramatic solution to the River Water issue?

She was not meant to be mortal: Medha Patkar

What would you make of the arrest of Medha Patkar? Is it an alleged instance of the "Government machinery having been let loose on peaceful democratic demonstrations?" Does it illustrate the chicanery of politics in having found an escape route from a deep rooted problem? Is it proof of how thick-skinned rulers have become when it comes to the salvation of the weak and the vulnerable? Does it show the autocratic ways of power in a democratic country, which is adamant on raising the dam at the cost of the public, irrespective of public moods?

The move to arrest Ms Medha Patkar could involve all of those aspects. To me, it is an unintentional noble deed that resulted from ulterior intentions. It's sad that Medha Patkar hasn't received even a fraction of the attention that has been showered on Ms Sonia's (Gandhi) "renunciation" of power. To have people who are ready to die for the lives of others, in this age, is a miracle! To dedicate one's life for a selfless cause propels Medha Patkar to the echelons of the likes of Mother Teresa. Ironically, even the Mother's beatification was done after much debate, posthumously.

The Government's intentions could well have been to avoid a huge public uproar and the prospects of the situiation veering off control if her indefinite fast proved to be fatal. But it might well result in the noble deed of saving the life of a great person whom India has to be proud of. People like her are not supposed to be victims of their own strengths. They have to live on - as they have the power to change the lives of many more. Medha Patkar would be able to make a difference to the state of affairs not by dying for one cause - but by fighting for many more, still greater causes.

Media, are you Listening?

Things are not supposed to be bad. But reality is never the ideal. Having said that, to accept reality as it is and call it "being practical" is a farce! "Escapism" or "Opportunism" - both of these terms would fit in to describe the scenario then.

It is good to note that some people in power realise they have a responsibility as well and take the initiative in voicing their thoughts, when they sense things turning from bad to worse! Aamir Khan is sensitive to the trends in today's media and has chosen to speak out - precisely, to the point. His interview to Tehelka slams the media for what it is - and what it has become over the years, faced with hectic competition, well on its way towards saturation in the industry. Some cheap stuff on the stack have decided to set the rules rather than living within the boundaries - and have set the ugly ball in motion, that could very well pick up momentum and spread filth all around.

My observations upon personal interaction with youngsters - teenagers in particular -has been mixed; it has reaffirmed my belief in their willingness to change things; it has hinted of their feeling of desperation at the way things are in this country. Pessimism has already found its way into some of the young souls. In a nut shell, they all realise that where they find themselves is not the best of situations.

It becomes a very important responsibility of the media, then, to support the youngsters in their quest for the ideal. But what happens in reality - as is mostly the case, against the ideal - is evidence of the media pandering to the sensuous yearnings of the rotten mind, oblivious of its powers in shaping the future of the society - and the effect that its behaviour has on the present generation.

Aamir Khan may be having his personal reasons for the opinions that he has - but there is a greater end that is being served in what he has said; and he has realised the importance of his words and has uttered them with a purpose. We need a lot more of such voices that remind the media of the purpose behind its existance. Voices can be more powerful that legislations - and a proactive attitude by the intelligentia could even make laws redundant!

Wake up - before it's too late!

Did you jump the gun, Mr Narayana Murthy?

“I am very impressed with the new chief minister. He is making the right moves and he is well intentioned. I have no doubt that he and his team will make Bangalore a better city and Karnataka, a better state,”

Yes, none other than Mr Narayana Murthy has uttered those words of praise. The man who has contributed significantly in making a brand out of 'Bangalore', one who has taught thousands that dreams can turn into reality, the simple guy with his head firmly on shoulders despite his phenomenal success, has declared that the new Chief Minister is well on his way to making Bangalore a better city!

So, could there be no substance at all when a leader of his stature makes so positive a statement? Perhaps, there is substance in it. He must be seeing things from a different angle from what an ordinary blog like Clearway sees. And that possibly is the reason why I'm not convinced if the new government really deserves the dose of optimism that comprises his comment! For someone like me, there needs to be concrete evidence right in front of my eyes that things have taken a turn for the better. That, probably, is the reason why I'm not yet where he is!

Still, what has actually been done to evoke such an upbeat response from the Infosys guy? Is it Kumaraswamy's promise to turn Bangalore around in 3 months when the Siemens Chief decided to put his expansion plans on the back burner? Or, is it the way Kumaraswamy and his better half enjoyed a ride in the Metro Rails of New Delhi and asserted that Metro was precisely what the Doctor ordered? Or, is it, to quote Narayana Murthy himself, that he was "grateful to the government for approving the Infosys proposal to acquire land at Sarjapur. We will soon buy land through KIADB, at market rates. We are looking at around 845 acres” that made Mr Murthy an exalted person?

Well, I'm confused. But Clearway is pretty sure it's the last of the three reasons - for the simple reason, that the two quotes were from the same man, spoken at the same occassion. And Mr Murthy was the victim when a peasant called Deve Gowda made him quit his post over the land issue. Is it not only natural that Murthy feels pacified with the goodwill gestures by the new Government?

Rightly so. Murthy has every reason to be jubilant. But, to attribute the gesture to a "reformed face" of a government that has let the roads overflow with vehicles and fill with smoke before mulling over an alternative form of public transport, with the Chief Minister still in his Probation period, might just be a bit too much to digest! Of course, as has already been stated (almost akin to a disclaimer), Mr Murthy might be seeing things from a different perspective from Clearway's and hence might be viewing a different picture - but Clearway is NOT Infosys and it adamantly has an opinion that is different from that of the IT giant's mentor!

A Hero called Bhagat Singh

Sometimes, in our obsession with pretty ordinary mortals, we tend to forget legendary martyrs. I was reminded of this day by an e-mail with a link. It really is sad that this is all that we could do in remembrance of Bhagat Singh. Don't we pay too much attention to the contradictary statements of a confused old man and to the stunts of a hyped up woman, who has desperately tried to make a selfless sacrifice of a dire situation that could have turned out to be really messy, not just for herself but for the party as a whole?

Yahoo News has something to say about Bhagat Singh and what he means to what India today is. By the way, what is March 23 called?

Well, it Works: Lodge Your Complaints - Part 2

There is reason to be optimistic - it is learnt that the Bangalore Police has responded to the complaint lodged on-line by one of the close associates of Clearway (Check the previous post for details).

The police does seem to have taken the complaint seriously; an Inspector had called up earlier and checked the verasity of the complaint with the person who lodged it on the net, Clearway was told. Then, he seems to have assured our associate that strict action would be taken against the offender and that he would be 'taught a lesson'.

I sometimes wonder why people should be so pessimistic about the functioning of the government mechanism, after all! Is it all the fault of institutions or is it the negligence of the individual that adds insult to injury? Could there be better and effective solutions to problems if the citizen chose to be proactive?

"Lodge Your Complaints"

In this day of hectic competition, it becomes inevitable for blogs to keep innovating. Clearway tries to stay in the race with its new section - "Lodge Your Complaints", at the top right corner of this space. The section is all about lodging complaints against beasts that are let loose in the society.

We see a sea change in the way things are done these days - and lodging complaints is just one among them. Bangalore City Police, I was told, has been running a site where lodging complaints has been made a breeze - sweeter than drafting a mail! A close associate of Clearway has spotted an extremely rash driver on the spree on the roads of Bangalore - and all that the person did was to reach for the site and mail the details of the driver to the City Police. While the actions taken on the basis of the complaints remain to be seen, there is less room for cynicism, given the care taken in setting the complaint system up and running!

Clearway hopes to collect similar information and log it in this space - and invites contributions in this regard, from readers. The laws of the land definitely do not allow citizens to shoot such dangerous beasts on the spot - but the arms of the law do seem to be extending their reach; and it's upto the citizen to strengthen it!

"Clearway Terrorism" - BODIES FOR SALE!

Clearway introduces a brand new section - "Bodies for Sale" - this March. Clearway offers dead bodies at special discounts in honour of the "Fighters". Clearway refuses to use any sensitive terminologies that may bias public opinion - so, the terms "Terrorists" or "Cannibals" or "Jihadi's" wil not be used in this section.

While appreciating the "Fighters" on their valiant efforts at sucking the lives out of young bodies and converting them to corpses, Clearway was lost in rewarding the actions of the "Fighters" with a suitable prize. The decision was finally made to obtain the dead bodies from the "Sites of Action", preserving them and awarding the bodies to the "Fighters" themselves. We shall make the utmost efforts to preserve the corpses in manageable conditions, without any further decay. However, it must be noted that it may not be possible to deliver our "Product" in the best of shapes, as the bodies may be damaged, mutilated or may already have been twisted out of shape when the operations were actually carried out. Some of the corpses may even have decayed slightly - Clearway tenders its personal apologies, in those cases, to the "Fighters". In such cases, we offer Special Discounted rates - and depending on the availability, we may have promotional schemes like "One Body Free for every Two Purchased".

As an introductory offer, Clearway offers 'Early Bird Prizes' - to enable us maintain sufficient stock of bodies in our Deep Freeze facilities, Clearway announces a Cash Reward of Rs 1 Lakh for Terrorists who carry out fresh attacks and provide us with young, tender bodies that are below the age of 10. We encourage Terrorists to take special care in their attacks so that at least, the skulls of their victims are not too badly damaged - we tolerate a damage level of 25% to the cranium but not more than that. Rs 50,000 will be awarded to the Terrorists who can manage to bring in "Live Victims with No Limbs" - it goes without saying that the other body parts are supposed to be intact, at least, attached to the main body and not totally cut off. A bumper prize will be annouced shortly for the most successful terrorist who can bring in 100 bodies without their heads - at one lot! Please avoid dripping of blood all the way - the smell of blood sometimes, may put prospective bidders off (though some of them actually like the smell of blood).

Expect Bonanzas to be announced shortly in this space - we would have Bids, where the highest bidder of bodies and body parts would be given the opportunity to be where he covets the most - he/ she could spend 3 nights and two days with the dead body of his or her choice and do whatever he/ she wants to do - the only request is to return the body to Clearway as it was taken delivery of.

Clearway expects a high response rate from Terrorists all around the world to participate in this "Once in a Death Time" offer and make the most of their special skills in sucking lives out of mortals!

Post (Mortem) Script: While all care was taken at not having 'sensational words' printed in this space, the word "Terrorist" somehow made its way here. However, Clearway views it as a recognition of the uncanny dexterity of the Terrorist to get to any space unnoticed and rip it apart, wash it with blood and decorate the place with pieces of flesh, bones and nerves. Long Live the Terrorist!

Picture Courtesy: Rediff.com

Traffic Managers show the way!

It's rush hour. There's traffic everywhere, buses overloaded, all set to topple. Bikes are in a frenzy, cars impatient, bicycles cornered and pedestrians trapped right in the middle of the roads in their futile efforts to cross over. Squealing brakes, blaring horns, gushing smoke, heat, dust, the smell of fuel all over in the air almost nauseating . . . a typical scene in any metro or even a suburb in the peak hours of the mornings.

It does take brave hearts to block the burgeoning traffic flowing dangerously, almost breaching the banks of the road. And it was evident this morning that our Nation does have a lot of brave hearts. Amidst all the commotion, a couple of traffic constables were busy at work, blocking the traffic, barricading the road and . . . drawing lines on speed breakers! What I loved the most in the scene was their having chosen such an auspicious time for the ritual - a demonstration of how India is a blend of the traditional and the modern! With all the buzz about 'Flying Roads' and 'Underground Rails', India still respects the nuances of astrology when it comes to matters that are as critial and crucial as marking speed breakers with white paint! Apparently, the Traffic Department must be having its own in-house astrologer who predicts the most auspicious of times of the day and dictates which roads are to be targetted. It is definitely admirable that the Traffic Department never got distracted by logic or science and trashed such intangible, insignificant considerations as 'peak hour traffic'. It was evident that they firmly believed no Road Work was to be done at nights, which is the time of the demons!

Kudos to the Metro Development Authorities; these acts reinforce our beliefs in you, about your capabilities in managing relatively simpler tasks as 'Metro Rails' or 'Complex Flyovers' to ease traffic congestions; you have been brave in the face of such herculean challenges as putting up barricades and creating art works on the roads, testing the tolerance levels of commuters simultaneously.

News Makers - and their Secret Aspirations

Our News Makers session today features four prominent personalities - those who have contributed significantly to their own fields of action.

The first place naturally goes to President George Wicked Bush. He has created a storm in the news papers today, by commenting on the weather in India. Mr Bush has called it 'Beautiful' - yes, Mr Brush does seem to have tried to paint a beautiful picture of the Nation, who is apparently excited at his first visit to this land. But the reasons for the excitement in the media circle are not all that obvious. They should have known, by now, that the Indian weather was beautiful indeed, rather than waiting for a crusader to announce it to them.

News maker 2 is our Crime Minister, Mr Singh. He has been brave enough to break protocol and welcome W. Bush right at the foot steps of Air Force 1. In fact, rumours have it that Mr Singh climbed up the ladder even as the doors of the plane were opening. Mrs Laura Bush seems to have bumped straight into Mr Singh as she stepped out of the plane. Fortunately for Mr Singh, Mrs Kaur seems to have a lot of trust on him. What happens in the White House when Mr Bush returns to the US, however, remains to be seen.

We take a break from Political Big Wigs and deviate on to the field, for our Fuse Breaker 3 position - yes, it goes to Ian Chappell. We all know that he has a rather big mouth; this day, he told the world that he is having difficulty in shutting it up. Chappell has admitted that he worked as the Personal Secretary of 'Dada' Ganguly, apart from being the roach of the Indian Cricket Team. In his tenure as Ganguly's Secretary, Chappell seems to have pried into the Accounts of 'Dada' and seems to have noted down some figures. Now that Ganguly needs no more of his service, Chappell seems to have thought it fit to reveal the Bank Account Details of his former Master. The Board of Confusion and Controversy in India has taken note of this rather indecent behaviour and has decided to send a Masking Tape, a Zip or a Lock to shut Chappell's big mouth.

Finally, we return to Politics in search of our King Joker 4 and land up right on the streets with Former Crime Minister, Mr Deve Gowda. Being rather surprised at having spotted Mr Gowda in the streets along with college students who were on a strike because their hostel taps weren't functioning properly, we checked with the former Chief as to the purpose of his stance. It was then that he realised that he was among the wrong mob - he originally wanted to be part of the Anti-Bush rally when he started from his residence. However, on the way, he seems to have noticed a gang with the card - "CLEAR THE BUSHES", which was originally intended to protest the lack of maintenance of the Hostel gardens! Mr Gowda, by mistake, thought it was a protest against our News Maker 1 and promptly stood in the line.

News Update:

It is learnt that each of the four News Makers have secret aspirations for one anothers' posts. Details are as follows:

1. Mr Bush seems interested in Chappell's position as the Coach of the Indian Team; it is a rather good prospect for Indian cricket as, then, he may announce a crusade against every other Cricketing Nation and infuse the Indian team with "Killer" Instinct.

2. Mr Deve Gowda aspires for a room in the White House; that is good for India as well, as Mr Gowda would certainly destory the US economy and being it down to its heels. Chances of India becoming a Developed Nation increase as well!

3. Mr Singh wants to participate actively in Karnataka Politics. Well, that is definitelty good for Bangalore. Now that we know how Mr Singh has an unexplained affinity towards climbing up the stairs of Air Planes, we can definitely look forward towards many more International Air Terminals being opened at Bangalore at extremely short notices.

4. Mr Chappell says he would become the Coach of the Indian Parliament! Yes, he would, by all means, bring about some discipline in the House; he may also reveal the Bank details and the financial statuses of Ministers, competing vigorously with the private Television Channels. However, the Election Commission must exercise extreme caution - Mr Chappel may effect a Coup against the existing Prime Minister, throw him to Kolkota and being someone from Bangalore to head the Nation!

PS. It is a mere coincidence that each of the four News Makers would be better off in positions other than their own!

Spotlight on Clearway

I have been receiving lots of mails requesting me to elaborate on what Clearway is! The central theme of all of those correspondences is that my 'Definition' of Clearway is not all that crisp or comprehensible; nor is that clear and concise. So, I decided to keep posting some 'Facts' about Clearway once in a while, on the go, in an effort to clear the haze around Clearway.

Clearway is a beast with a mind of its own. It is an organism, a whole new species, raw and totally lacking in sophistication. It acts and it reacts to its own acts! However, as of this day, I don't remember it's ever having retracted its steps. It watches and responds to movements in space. However, sometimes, I have seen it transcending the boundaries of space! It has the least regard for elements and notices the ticking of the clock nonchalantly.

That was one face of Clearway - let me see if I can clarify a few more facts in the posts to come. And I do stress that I can not be held responsible for what Clearway logs in this space. Clearway - and only Clearway - is accountable for whatever is stated in Clearway!

Into your minds; not 'In your Face': Advertising

I was thinking of commenting briefly on a few things that have been happening in and around India when something else caught my attention - Internet Advertising.

What do Advertisers aim at? Is it exposure? is it Brand Recall? Is it Brand Recognition? Or, is it a plain sense of detest that they try to evoke towards the brand that is advertised? I sincerely hope it is not the last in the list. But some advertisements definitely make me wonder if the purpose of an Advertisement is really to get the folks HATE the brand!

The moment one opens any of the home pages of popular sites these days, one encounters a blow in the face; not literally - fortunately! A flashy Ad, bright and gaudy, pops up right in the face of the reader in the prime space of the page! "Have you driven home the latest model of this car yet - along with the model who promotes it?" or, "Whom are you going to marry today?", or "Have break fast, lunch and dinner and spend two nights with your favourite stars" . . . you name it!

Never mind the messages. But imagine how you would feel when, while grossly immersed in your daily dose of News with a coffee in one hand on a Sunday morning, a huge advertisement pops up right between you and the news paper you read, with a jarring noice? Or, when you are chatting with your sweet heart on a silent evening, what if someone lands right in between you and your other half and starts yelling at you to buy his new launch? Okay, forget the Harry Potter stuff! You are completely involved in the gripping moments of the final couple of overs in a nail biting run chase between India and Pakistan; India needs 10 runs to score of the last couple of balls, with one wicket in hand! How would you enjoy an Ad at that precise point of time?

Advertise, yes. But let's show some restraint and some rationale. After all, a website exists only for readers to read - and no Advertisement is supposed to put the prospect off right at the offset!

Correction: The final word in the post was supposed to be 'Outset'. The mistake must perhaps have been due to an upgradation underway at Clearway.

Disclaimer: Since Upgradation is a continuous process, Clearway, by no means, assures an Error-Free post, though it very much remains the coveted goal of Clearway!

An initiative in the right direction - Tourism India

The decision to get the fares for foreign visitors to Places of Historical interests and other tourist attractions, in line with what the locals have to shell out, makes perfect sense. The decision was long pending and is a sure positive development in the right direction.

People who have had the opportunity to travel abroad have always seen the contrasting ways in which monuments were being treated in India and abroad. Tourist attractions are well maintained with systems well in place to welcome the tourist searching for a context. Historical events associated with the sites are well documented and tourism is amply promoted.

It doesn't take a developed nation to exercise its brains on what needs to be done to ge the tourists in and help them leave the country with a memorable experience. All it takes is some initiative. And a decision in this direction would be the most welcome step. One hopes it is followed up with setting up of other basic amenities that would make India a proud host.

Vampires Vs Business Schools

Management education is fit to find a place in the trash bags. No, not trash bags - they can be used as door mats. Well, if at all you deem them deserving a place in home at all, that is.

The reasoning behind this statement that reminds management thinkers of the rightful place of their first love is simple enough. Management theory talks about leadership; leadership talks of control, of decision making, of responsibilities, of Accountabilities! I don't mean to delve into the depths of any of these jargons. Just to get some facts straight, Strategic Planning is supposed to have been born in the US during the World Wars. The United States call themselves pioneers in having brought Management studies from the drawing boards of the War Zones to the public domain through their famed Business Schools. The United States is the most powerful bully on Planet Earth and it's President is supposed to author most of its bullying tactics. Put them all together, the President of the United States is supposed to be the individual that has the maximum quantum of Accountability in the globe!

Ectics in Business was brought into focus for the first time when huge empires crumbled to pieces, dragging along with them, dreams of millions and dollars in trillions, when Accounting fraud was the buzzword in the US. It took a while before investors mustered courage to invest in shares again. However, the skeletons in the Boardroom were very much brought to light by the ridiculous lust for money by men in dark suites. It was a hard lesson that Management Schools had to learn and they scurried to fix the holes in their syllabus when it came to Business Ethics.

Then was the turn of the war lords to come down heavily with all their might on the distant, remote prospects of a sovereign state being in a position to prepare and deploy Weapons of Mass Destruction. The President argued passionately, addressing an International delegation, reasoning how Iraq posed a grave threat to the entire humanity. Poor Blair had no option but to say "Yes President". UN Weapons Inspectors pleaded for time as they found nothing to substantiate the Western allegations. They were brushed aside as Iraq was pounded.

After the war was officially declared over, shocking images of obscenities were flashed across the world, from the prisons of Iraq. A few scape goats were brought to justice. The duo of Bush and Blair have gone on record, after Mr Saddam Hussain was shackled, that they made their decisions based on misleading Intelligence reports! The two still continue to occupy their chairs. And worse, they have set their sights on Iran now! To be able to murder thousands in cold blood and then go ahead with their next massacre plans must be a juicy proposition for vampires who are thirsty for blood!

So, the proud Business Schools of the United States of America might consider pondering over what went wrong with their theories of Accountability in leadership and getting back to their basics, so much so that they fall pathetically short of having any validity for practice when it came to the highest authority in their own Great Nation. Whether it's about a sole proprietorship business with a turnover of a couple of thousand dollars or the arena of International Politics with Strategies that touch the lives of billions, Management theory must hold the key to explain leadership and it's effect on subjects. To explain away the fees in thousands as being charged for a study that operates in vacuum and to continue pitching for prospects for courses in Executive Education is a farce, when the most powerful leaders prove leadership theories, the worst mistakes of management.