Monday, July 31, 2006

The Have's and the Have Not's: Protect your Head - Use the Helmet!

Issued in the interest of the general public by Clearway!

Traffic Constable: Hey, Stop . . Stop!
Bike Rider pulls up - looks at the TC.
Bike Rider: Yeah dude, what's up? Why did you want me to stop?
TC: Where's your helmet?
BR: Why? I lost it a few years back while I was on a picnic. Don't know where it is now.
TC: A few years back? So, you never bought a helmet after that?
BR: No. My daddy bought one for me but strictly instructed me never to take it out. It was a very expensive helmet and he was afraid I might break it if I fell from my bike!
TC: Do you know the new helmet rule that's on from today?
BR: There's no helmet rule, I have withdrawn my order.
TC: Huh? Your order? What do you mean your order?
BR: My name is the same as that of the Chief Minister of the state. And all is in the name. So, Im the Chief Minister of the State.
TC: Hmm, okay. But even in that case, we have not got any papers revoking the order from you, Mr Chief Minister. We go by the original order. You need to cough up a fine.
BR: Heh? You wanna have a showdown with me, the Chief Minister?
TC: See young man, the helmet is meant only to protect your head.
BR: Big Deal! Don't you see that it's my own individual prerogative to decide when and where to break my head? What's your problem?
TC: I think you dont watch movies. John Abraham always wears a helmet and he asks others to wear one as well.
BR: Mr TC, I have two reasons not to use a helmet. One, I did not have sufficient time to purchase a helmet.
TC: No Time? But in your own words, you were the one who gave the orders in the first place! And it has been more than a couple of months since your order came. Are two months not enough to buy one helmet?
BR: Buying a helmet is a long procedure. We need to advertise in the news papers and call for tenders, the tenders would have to be opened in a transparent manner and a source decided and the order awarded. And the most important factor is that the helmet must suit the shape of my head.
TC: Okay, so what's the other reason that you did not buy a helmet for, Mr Chief Minister?
BR: Well, the other reason is that I don't have anything in my head that I may have to protect. So, I have nothing to lose. It's like, if you don't have anything in your house, would you lock it at all?
TC: Yeah, that was obvious, the moment you said you were the Chief Minister merely because your name is the same as his name.
BR: Yeah, you are right. So, why should I pay the fine?
TC: I concede. You do not have anything to protect and hence you don't have to wear a helmet. But those who have something in their heads, should they not be wearing their helmets? Is it not your responsibility, as a Chief Minister, to show the way by example? After all, medical bodies have come to this conclusion after studying so many fatal head injuries. Why all this debate at all?
BR: That's because, we are conducting a survey as to how many people have stuff in their heads and how many people of the state have empty heads. We could not design a perfect test for that. So, the best way is to let people decide by themselves whether their heads are filled or empty. Now we know - those who wear a helmet are the "Have's", and those who do not wear one are the "Have Not's".
TC: That's great. So, you are a proud "Have Not". Congratulations Mr..