Welcome to India, the land of Goons and Thugs, where young girls are molested in highways and city centres!
|Image: India TV|
You would be considered our special guest if you came with your young wife, sister or girl friend, because we like you that way. And you would be treated even better if you chose a night out along some of the busiest areas of the city, say, along a pub.
And if you are a woman who has dared to come to the country without any male escort around, we would be delighted. You could feel the elation that we feel for you, if you chose to go for a walk alone at night. No, you would not have to walk through some of the shady areas of some remote corners of the city - we would just be fine as long as you strode along some of the busiest areas of the city, and particularly so, if we guys are present in a gang then.
We tease, we ogle, we glare and try to make you feel at home in the first place. Once you are comfortable with us around, we try to grab you as gently as a bunch of hungry dogs would get to a helpless chicken caught alone in their midst. Yes, we would try not to hurt you as much as we could as we first grope you by your shoulders, but then, when it's at night, when we are high, and when you are alone, you see, things may just be off the mark.
If you are minor and are yet to be officially labelled an adult, we would be pleased at it. Yes, we do realise that you may be a bit tensed up seeing all of us, well set to hit the mark. But do not worry, we do not indulge in gang rape - at least, not yet. And we only help to ease you into the process. If we strip you when we touch you all over, it's just to let some fresh breeze in when you may already be stressed up. But at the end of it, we would make sure you have been blessed by all of our filthy hands.
|Image: India Today|
If you thought you would receive this treatment only in Guwahati, rest assured, we are everywhere. Every city is the same for us and every girl that we see is a treat for us. We encourage you to step out alone at nights, but if you would prefer the day instead, we might just consider your request and cooperate.
Do not worry about the cops. They would have been bribed already and arranged to stay away from the bash till we have all had a taste of you. And they would most definitely arrive late, but you know the kind of cops we have, don't you? If you are still in doubts, you may want to check out an illustration of the way women are handled, safely and securely, by our dutiful policemen in the picture below.
|Image: The Australian|
That was Pinki Pramanik, one of our athletes, who was being escorted by the policeman with all the responsibility that a father would have towards his daughter. They can't get gentler or more sophisticated than that, could they?
And to add to the cops' credit, of the 30 plus male predators who descended down heavily on the hapless woman in this news post on Monday night, four days later, just four have been arrested. Isn't that encouraging enough? After all, the police have long been our friends, and they let us act the way we wanted. Money speaks, honey!
The media may call it 'Girl Molested'. Let them be whatever they want. But we are just proud volunteers of this Great Nation that has traditionally worshipped women in the names of Goddesses. We are the representatives of Indian culture, in a nation all geared up to take a shot at the G8 and label itself a Super Power very shortly.
Keep watching this space for further updates on how India unveils itself in all its glory on the global stage.