Question: What is a "Bandh"?
Answer: Something that we do when we don't exactly know what to do.
Q: Why do you call for a Bandh?
A: In simple terms, we call for a Bandh because the Bandh can't call for itself.
Q: Who called for this particular Bandh?
A: The rivermen, the fishermen, the agricultural sons of the land and the village boys.
Q: Was this Bandh a success or a failure?
A: It was a resounding success.
Q: How do you say it was a success?
A: Because the objective was achieved unanimously and unambiguously.
Q: And what was the objective?
A: Next question please.
Q: Could you define a Bandh please?
A: It is a medium of expression, a birth right, a protocol.
Q: What did you express with this particular Bandh?
A: We expressed our solidarity and our immense sense of hurt with the verdict forced upon us.
Q: But they say the verdict is actually in your favour!
A: Really? Well, we need time to go through the intricacies of the verdict. Will comment later.
Q: What do you say of the team of people who studied the issue meticulously and pronounced the judgement?
A: A bunch of Jack ***es.
Q: Then why did you not protest the bunch of . . er . . I mean, the jury when it was initially formulated to study the issue?
A: We did not know that they would give a verdict so soon. We thought they would take a few more years before pronouncing the judgement.
Q: A few more years . . ?
A: Yes. This was a hotch-potch. This was an eye-wash. It is impossible to come to a judgement so soon.
Q: Why so?
A: Why? Because this is a flowing issue. You can not analyse something that is moving, you see? First, they should have stopped the river, taken the sample and then analysed it.
Q: Well . . . do you know which issue we are talking about???
A: Next question.
Q: Okay. You declared the Bandh to express your sense of hurt. Did your government work on other issues while you expressed yourself?
A: Other issues? Like?
Q: You see, most roads are bad in the city. You could have utilised the total lack of traffic to repair the roads in full swing. If you had done that, you could have expressed yourself and at the same time, you could have done something great, something that's very much the need of the hour and critical. And you dont have to cause traffic congestions at peak hours repairing roads.
A: Hmm . . . that's a good idea. It is your fault that you did not suggest this earlier. How irresponsible can you be!!!
Q: Me? Oh . . well . . in that case, now that I have suggested this, what are you going to do with the idea?
A: We are going to declare a Bandh every week. Every Monday, there will be a Bandh!
A: Yes. Sunday is Government holiday. And we will be very eager to work on Monday. And as you said, the traffic and officegoers are a bad disturbance to us while we repair the roads.
Q: Well, I said *you* were a disturbance to the traff . . .
A: Yes, that's what I said. So, every Monday will be a Bandh. And we will repair the roads on Mondays, so that infrastructure in the city becomes outstanding. We want to set an example to the world.
Q: But don't you need a reason to call for a Bandh?
A: Of course. We are not idiots. The corporation water will be let open once a week, on Mondays. Since that reminds us of the burning issue of water, we will declare Mondays, Bandh Days.
Q: But then, the city gets water daily in most places, at least, once in two days.
A: That was the situation before the bunch of Jack ***es gave their verdict. Now, the sons of the land have been put to so much of hardship by the insensitive jury that we will have enough water only for one day a week.
Q: Finally, are you going to abide by the verdict?
A: No. We will appeal to the International Court of Justice against the injustice.
Q: The International Court? Why?
A: Why??? How can we give water to our rival nation when we dont have enough water for our own country???
Q: Excuse me . . . could you please tell us the name of your continent?
A: India, of course. Now, dont ask me what's the name of my country!