Friday, June 22, 2007

Presidential Politics: Where the Front never Backs!

Clearway talks with the Third Front and discusses their strategy for inaction, while looking into the Political Drama featuring the President.

Clearway: Why did you want President Abdul kalam to be the President again?
Third Front: See, he is already a President. Then why go for a new President?

CW: That is because his term has ended.
TF: We don't believe in Terms. In fact, even a Chief Minister has to remain in power for ever. We will ban Fresh Elections once we come to power.

CW: Well, that's a different issue. You tell us about the President.
TF: Our President is a Bachelor of Minority, Popular of Majority.

CW: Is that why you want him to be the President again?
TF: Off the record, no. The reasons are more intricate and political. We shall speak about them later.

CW: Did you consult the President before you took the decision to Project him?
TF: Yes. We called him up on his mobile. The call went to the Washing Machine. So, we recorded our message and went to sleep.

CW: The Washing Machine?
TF: The Answering Machine, we said!

CW: But did he agree and give his consent?
TF: Yes. The next morning, we saw a Missed Call in our mobile from his number. That was his consent.

CW: When the President had already made it clear that he did not intend to sit for a second term, what made you choose his name?
TF: Look, we formed the third front. And we needed a Blockbuster to announce its arrival.

CW: A Blockbuster? Why that?
TF: We have invested so much in the Third Front. A Blockbuster would boost our bottom line and would improve our Return on Investments. It's all about money, honey!

CW: Hmmm . . . clever move! But do you see how it has back-fired?
TF: No. We will draw maximum mileage in any case. The Congress and the Left are such morons, so insensitive to the will of the people that they refuse to support a sitting minority bachelor President who is the popular majorty!

CW: You say so. But the opposition says you have drawn the President's Office into political drama and caused unnecessary embarrassment to the President.
TF: What nonsense! If we asked him to contest, where did his decision making faculty go? He could have said 'no'. Who's mistake was that? Now CW, whose side are you in? We thought you have always supported us!

CW: I'm as of now on your right side. Anyway, what's your plan of action now?
TF: We will not support Prathibha. And the President has said he would contest if we could provide him certainty.

CW: But can you provide him certainty?
TF: We will certainly provide him with the certainty that we will, in all certainty, support his candidature untill he becomes uncertain of his certainty and withdraws his candidature with certainty.

CW: Poor President. And what after that?
TF: That depends. We are looking for a Fresh Presidential candidate. CW, if you know someone who may be interested in the job, please do us a favour and forward their Resume' to us.

CW: ???
TF: Don't worry, we can train him/ her for the job.

CW: But why dont you support one of the existing candidates?
TF: Huh? We would rather dissolve the Third Front than support the existing candidates.

CW: Dissolve the Third Front? What will you do then?
TF: Form the Fourth Front, of course!