Thursday, March 02, 2006

News Makers - and their Secret Aspirations

Our News Makers session today features four prominent personalities - those who have contributed significantly to their own fields of action.
The first place naturally goes to President George Wicked Bush. He has created a storm in the news papers today, by commenting on the weather in India. Mr Bush has called it 'Beautiful' - yes, Mr Brush does seem to have tried to paint a beautiful picture of the Nation, who is apparently excited at his first visit to this land. But the reasons for the excitement in the media circle are not all that obvious. They should have known, by now, that the Indian weather was beautiful indeed, rather than waiting for a crusader to announce it to them.
News maker 2 is our Crime Minister, Mr Singh. He has been brave enough to break protocol and welcome W. Bush right at the foot steps of Air Force 1. In fact, rumours have it that Mr Singh climbed up the ladder even as the doors of the plane were opening. Mrs Laura Bush seems to have bumped straight into Mr Singh as she stepped out of the plane. Fortunately for Mr Singh, Mrs Kaur seems to have a lot of trust on him. What happens in the White House when Mr Bush returns to the US, however, remains to be seen.
We take a break from Political Big Wigs and deviate on to the field, for our Fuse Breaker 3 position - yes, it goes to Ian Chappell. We all know that he has a rather big mouth; this day, he told the world that he is having difficulty in shutting it up. Chappell has admitted that he worked as the Personal Secretary of 'Dada' Ganguly, apart from being the roach of the Indian Cricket Team. In his tenure as Ganguly's Secretary, Chappell seems to have pried into the Accounts of 'Dada' and seems to have noted down some figures. Now that Ganguly needs no more of his service, Chappell seems to have thought it fit to reveal the Bank Account Details of his former Master. The Board of Confusion and Controversy in India has taken note of this rather indecent behaviour and has decided to send a Masking Tape, a Zip or a Lock to shut Chappell's big mouth.
Finally, we return to Politics in search of our King Joker 4 and land up right on the streets with Former Crime Minister, Mr Deve Gowda. Being rather surprised at having spotted Mr Gowda in the streets along with college students who were on a strike because their hostel taps weren't functioning properly, we checked with the former Chief as to the purpose of his stance. It was then that he realised that he was among the wrong mob - he originally wanted to be part of the Anti-Bush rally when he started from his residence. However, on the way, he seems to have noticed a gang with the card - "CLEAR THE BUSHES", which was originally intended to protest the lack of maintenance of the Hostel gardens! Mr Gowda, by mistake, thought it was a protest against our News Maker 1 and promptly stood in the line.
News Update:
It is learnt that each of the four News Makers have secret aspirations for one anothers' posts. Details are as follows:
1. Mr Bush seems interested in Chappell's position as the Coach of the Indian Team; it is a rather good prospect for Indian cricket as, then, he may announce a crusade against every other Cricketing Nation and infuse the Indian team with "Killer" Instinct.
2. Mr Deve Gowda aspires for a room in the White House; that is good for India as well, as Mr Gowda would certainly destory the US economy and being it down to its heels. Chances of India becoming a Developed Nation increase as well!
3. Mr Singh wants to participate actively in Karnataka Politics. Well, that is definitelty good for Bangalore. Now that we know how Mr Singh has an unexplained affinity towards climbing up the stairs of Air Planes, we can definitely look forward towards many more International Air Terminals being opened at Bangalore at extremely short notices.
4. Mr Chappell says he would become the Coach of the Indian Parliament! Yes, he would, by all means, bring about some discipline in the House; he may also reveal the Bank details and the financial statuses of Ministers, competing vigorously with the private Television Channels. However, the Election Commission must exercise extreme caution - Mr Chappel may effect a Coup against the existing Prime Minister, throw him to Kolkota and being someone from Bangalore to head the Nation!
PS. It is a mere coincidence that each of the four News Makers would be better off in positions other than their own!

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