Sunday, January 22, 2006

CLEARWAY IS HIRING!!!

Clearway – Misty Road®, a subsidiary of Clearway Inc®, is on a hiring spree! A phenomenally successful business unit with operations across the country, Clearway – Misty Road® has been in action since 1947, funnelling billions and trillions in Rupees of revenue out of the system into Clearway Finance®. Reasons for the success are in the marrow of Misty Road®, with our Patented Technologies of Chameleon Behaviour©, Corroded-to-the-Core© and Helluloid Representatives©.

Clearway – Misty Road® is hunting for hard-core, Pachyderm Homo sapiens who can mint money from dust and who have the determination and will power to make a complete ass of the system. If you have it in your genes, go ahead and apply to this ‘Gold Rush’!

Application Form

Name:
Original Name:
Other Names:
Number of Passports held:
Education (If any):
Criminal Records: __________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
(Continue in separate sheet)
Nationality:
Mother Tongue:
Religion:
Community:
Caste:
Sub-caste:
Under World Links: __________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
(Continue in separate sheet)
Number of Kidnaps attempted:
Number of Kidnaps effected:
Success Rate (Effected/Attempted %):
Income:
Other Income:
Extra Income:
Extra-ordinary Income:
Rate:
Asking Rate:
Market Rate:
Other Records of Horse Trading:
Assets:
Assets targeted for this year:
Existing Vote Bank (state targeted community):
Booth Captures attempted:
Booth Captures effected:
Success Rate (Effected/Attempted %):
‘Resources’ at hand for future Booth Captures:
Comfort Level with Plain Shirt/ Dhoti’s (White only): Low/ Normal/ Abnormal
Comfort Level with Kurta Pyjamas (White only): Low/ Normal/ Abnormal
Number of hoardings featuring your names:
Number of hoardings featuring your photos:
Willingness to have a foreign bank account: No/ Yes/ I already have one at Swiss
Willingness to deal in white money: No/ Never
Under-the-table dealings: High/ Very High/ Always
Recorded instances of vandalism in the “House”: ________________________
________________________
________________________
(Continue in separate sheet)
Recorded instances of vandalism in the streets: ________________________
________________________
________________________
(Continue in separate sheet)
Ability to wield chairs/ microphones ad hoc, as may be necessary: Good/ Excellent/ Expert
The most important factor in your life: Money/ Power/ Staying alive for ever
Number of party switches this year:
Number of party switches last year:
Number of party switches planned for next year:
Favourite Holiday Destination: Chennai/ Goa
Willingness to stay underground in emergency: Yes/ No/ It depends


Declaration: I have never been true in any of my declarations and I never will be true to the letter and spirit in this declaration as well.

Name:
Signature (Please use the current one):
Thumb Impression:


Name of Personal Secretary:
Signature of Personal Secretary:

Note: Personal secretaries of candidates who may not be in a position to read/ write may fill in the form on the candidate’s behalf; In that case, the Personal Secretary is required to sign the form on the candidate’s behalf while the candidate may imprint his left thumb impression.

Misty Road® encourages illiterates to apply – we are interested only in muscle power that can, as has already been declared, make a complete ass of the system.

Our Motto: **** the System!

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